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I Stay in the Movie, Alright!

In a village far from Bombay, inside an old crumbling school building, some people from the city are shooting using a camera. The sun is relentless, a young guy has just tripped over some wire and torn his denims. He seems happy about it. Someone calls for water, everybody moves around causing a commotion, and for five minutes you can’t see who’s coming or going. Everybody is sort of busy, like at a marriage ceremony. After the hullabaloo settles, the water is still elusive. Some one calls for water again.

An inconsequential-looking person is sitting behind a table on which a camera is placed.

The videographer asks the man to look into camera and say his name; the man does not abide.

Why is he not looking into the camera ?

He thinks he is natural.

What does that have to do with not looking into the camera ?

He thinks he can pull this off without looking into the camera.

Pull off what? The recording is for government evidence. And why are you speaking on his behalf?

He is brooding.

Why is he brooding?

Brooding brings out the truth. He is going to be one of the great actors.

What acting? This is not a movie. Now ask him to speak up.

People can say a lot without speaking. Silent movies you see.

Silent movies were over 80 years ago and this is not a movie.

Well, he is an old soul.

What old soul, I am taking him on record for the regular absenteeism. He is on the list of the worst primary teachers. And you are up next.

I too am an old soul.

Two interns in the background are sharing a joke, one says “big-time LOL” to which the second one gives a big ROFL, without even looking up. They seem a bit concerned about their career pace.

The videographer doesn’t seem to be getting anywhere with these old-school actors. It has now begun to rain and a scrawny fellow enters with two cows and a goat. He explains that it is past school-time and the animals need some rest. The videographer is furious, he asks the boy to at least cover up his cow, the one sitting under the table. A white cloth is put over the cow that is regurgitating and is shaking up the table.

The videographer is disturbed that the cow is shaking the video. One of the interns says that shaky video is good, it adds realism. “What movie?” the boss shouts. Just then, an old lady enters and declares him to be a bad influence to young people. She says that her son is very smart and can light electric bulbs using cow-dung gas and now he wants to be in this movie too, as the hero, nothing less. He is refusing a haircut too.

What movie? The videographer murmurs to himself.