Despite the sad The Amazing Spiderman (1), I still had some bits of hope left for me to drag myself to a nearby theatre and see if The Amazing Spiderman 2 would be any different. Guess what! I was right, it’s different because it’s worse than the previous version and how. Believe me when I say this, I don’t know what to write this time because I just can’t think of a single decent word for this horrendous tale that probably won’t be amusing for kids too.

Directed by Marc Webb, The Amazing Spiderman 2 stars Andrew Garfield as the (not so) amazing Spiderman (Peter Parker), Emma Stone as Gwen Stacy, Jamie Foxx as Electro (I won’t forgive you Jamie for what you did to your fans) and Dane DeHaan as Harry Osborn in the lead roles.

It’s no suspense to anyone who has seen Spiderman series or/and The Amazing Spiderman 1 that Spiderman’s most important battle has been within himself. These struggles revolve around the ordinary life of Peter Parker and the extraordinary life of Spiderman. While the Spiderman loves swinging from one skyscraper to another and being the hero of the New York City, Peter is a guy next door who loves Gwen and his Aunt, and wants to keep them safe from the repercussions of being with the Spiderman because being Spiderman comes at a price.

I was insanely disappointed to witness the mushy side of Spiderman way too much that involved balderdash scenes of fighting with his aunt to let him wash his own underwear to breaking up with Gwen to rekindling his romance with Gwen to confessing his love to Gwen in almost every third scene. Come on Marc Webb, we aren’t interested in Spiderman’s love life this much.

Jamie Foxx plays an ordinary (or rather non-existent kind of) guy who is smitten by Spiderman because Spiderman had once saved his life. Jamie works at Oscorp and with the turn of events, he turns into Electro. With the emergence of Electro, Peter must confront a foe far more powerful than him. Also, his old friend, Harry Osborn, returns after Harry’s father dies and Peter comes to realize that all of his enemies have one thing in common – Oscorp.

The movie plays with your mind, your senses, your sanity and you finally declare yourself a fool that you spent money for this piece of garbage being shown worldwide. Fifteen minutes into the movie and I told myself, it will get better. But I was proved wrong because it worsened faster than Rahul Gandhi’s attempt to better his speeches and interviews! Or maybe the latter is worse, we can definitely debate on that. One of my biggest disappointment is with Jamie Foxx, I mean what the hell was wrong with him when he decided to sign this movie. I am simultaneously writing a letter to Jamie that goes something like this “Dear Jamie, I know life’s a bitch and it sucks the hell out of us but what the f*** happened to you that you decided to enact such an absurd and twaddle role after the incredible performance in Django Unchained.” Anyway, I will finish that letter soon enough!

Let’s talk about the story. Woah! I am confused as to which pathetic word to use here. I will go with paltry. There’s no story here and whatever they have tried to show, it just doesn’t seem to end. Cinematography is brilliant (thank god I used one nice word) and that’s where the brilliance ends. Music is terrible and you wonder what went wrong even in this department. Andrew Garfield did well with whatever non-sense role that he had but the comedy that was done by Spiderman in not one, not two but several scenes isn’t amusing at all. Emma Stone is pretty and that’s it. She just plays a typical girlfriend who made sure this seems like a chic flick. So, every guy could take his girlfriend to this mushy love tale and she would love you forever.

As if all this wasn’t enough as a recipe for a disaster, the dialogues will ensure that you either drown yourself in the coke that you are drinking or you choke yourself with the popcorn. While introducing himself to a villain, Spiderman says “Hi Mr. Criminal, I am Spiderman, you can call me amazing”. During the final climax sequence when Electro tells Spiderman that he wants to become the new god of the city, Spiderman’s lame response is, “What, a god named Sparkles?”

There’s a fight sequence between Spiderman and Electro at the Times Square and though the sequence is somewhat visually appealing, the fun goes crashing down when Spiderman wins the fight after blowing some water off the hose-pipe on Electro. WTF! On top of it, there were at least three villians till the time I was counting and they just don’t seem to end.

Apparently, the makers of the series have announced that a Spiderman movie will be released every year till 2017. I have nothing left to say now, may God have mercy on the movie goers.

My recommendation – save yourself and don’t even think about going for this nearly two-and a half hour of non-sense that will leave you scratching your head and a feeling of despair and disheartenment. I give 1.5 on 5 teaspoon of masala to this non amazing Spiderman.

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