We all have dreams. I too had one, which I still remember. I wanted the college time to last forever. College meant so many things friends, fun, frolic, hang-outs, sports, competitions, crushes, break-ups and what not. It was a part of life, teaching us more than anything else could, molding us in the best possible ways. And those were the times I was allowed to do whatever my mind wished. Wandering wherever I wanted, doing things I loved and the best thing – feeling the soul within me.
So whatever happened to that? Years passed by and college days were spent in lots of other things but more of less preparing for the academics, burning ass off to secure good grades and then hoping to end up with good placements, later realizing grades don’t matter much and then again burning to secure a good one . As this was done with, a realization dawned upon me, the time for separation had come, people had to move out, in the directions their fate took them, the inevitable was about to happen, the situation was their staring at my face, asking me for insane amount of courage to get that idea into my mind, get used to it. As all good things, this too was coming to an end, an emotional, sad one.
I slowly realized that as the years passed by, I was becoming someone else. The soul within, my soul, was missing, it was lost midst the chaos around. I tried searching for it, but all that effort ended in vain. It was long gone, somewhere lost in the dust around and all I was left with was a changed me, longing for things that were not there, living in a day-dream, unable to accept the ground realities and walking around introspecting: Was this what I always wanted, was this what I dreamed off when I entered this place ?! Have I lived to the fullest?! Have I lived up-to my expectations. As I searched for answers to these questions, time was passing by, close ones were leaving, going far away, things, people were changing and so was I, with a part of me left behind in the crusades of what went by in the past and a hope for a bright future, of what lies ahead of me.
-$@r