I always had friends from when I was young up to when I was 16, 17. I had close relationships with some friends, they were like my brothers, but I fell out with all of them. But, at the time although I still acted happy I think it hurt me more than I realized deep down.My Schooling was a disaster for sure. There comes my +2 and started going to college.Started mixing with my new so called ‘friends’ less and less, until eventually I only had 1 left. Due to some personal problems and finally i am left with no friend that could listen my silence screams. I am kind of sensitive and emotional kind of person. So i guess that’s the reason i don’t have friends. I got a job, made a couple of quite close colleagues.But i don’t go out with those friends EVER ( Either i wont be invited or i don’t feel like asking them out). Despite this though, I try not to pity myself, I figure that wallowing in self pity making 50 times worse.. But its difficult to make friends when you have none isn’t it!! I fight so hard to maintain a positive self image so that I don’t go around thinking people hate me or people somehow sense that I am some kind of loner. When i look back into my life, i see no great achievements i have made. Only thing i did is to sit in a dark room and cry and even worse talk to ceiling fans and walls .! Lol There are so many things I want to do, I want to go to festivals, I want to go on holidays abroad, there are tons of things I want to do but you cant do them with no friends! Its awful.:/

No Drinking Friends(thought i don’t drink), Partying with Friends, Happiness, Care & affection.. What Am I Missing?

Nevertheless ,I am very thankful for all the so called friends I have made on till date and it is because I see the value of sharing life experiences as a possible basis for future friendship, that I cared for the meaning of term (true) FRIENDSHIP. But i got a slap of betrayal.