Screwed your CAT? Worried about low Percentiles? CAT this year was too tricky for you to decipher? Waiting for some miracle to happen?

If the answer to any of these questions is ‘Yes’ then you are lucky to find this. We guarantee to increase your CAT score by minimum 20.87% even after the exams*.

Following Tantras are the excerpts from the original product.

• Fries(March21–April20): Ketu is residing in the eight house of big boss. In order to tackle with this problem, watch repeat telecast of the brainiest show on Indian-Television.

• Tyres(April21–May20): Being born in the hottest time of the year may drastically affect your logical reasoning score. Drink some ‘chilled-desi’, it will provide substance to your brain.

• Gaymini(May21–June21): Your twin personality is the biggest problem for you. Watch SRK in double role in Ra.One atleast 5 times. You will automatically feel that there are better things in life than your ruined CAT score.

• Canker(June 22–July 22): Your score might face some normalization issue. Paste a picture of Kalmadi or Raja on your pot seat in order to avoid absurd normalization algorithm of CAT.

• Deo(July23–August23): You might have cracked CAT but you may face some problems with GD-PI. Better stop watching those Manmohan videos and start speaking.

• Virgin(August24–September22): You rashi is affected by Moon which is in trouble and attracted byartificial satellites. Eat our churan, if nothings happens, atleast you will have regular bowel movements.

• Wonder-bra(September23–October22): Practicing nonviolence by keeping calm over performance of Indian Team in South Africa may increase your CAT Score by two times. We want to indirectly say that you are gonna score less than 50%…only our product can help you.

• Fcorpio(October23–November22): We suggest you to go on a ‘DATE’ with your coaching institute vocabulary teacher. There are signals that you have flunked vocab section. Spending time with a vocab geek can save your sinking ship.

• Saggy-tarius(November23–December21): Curses…for the coldest month of the year. Watch video of ‘Chikni Chameli’ 101 times before searct your CAT Result. This will bring ‘warmth’ to you and your CAT score.

• Popcorn(December22–January20): Sitting on Facebook and updating about everything was just your past time. Now it is time to be a real FB Star…you should change your display pic and status every half an hour. Try pinging your crushes for better results.

• Aquarium(January21–February19): Want to get better score than your friend? Try spamming. Send daily 100+ messages, use different sim-cards. Sample: “SEND THIS MESSGE TO 10 PEOPLE OR YOUR CAT SCORE WILL BE RUINED”. Start an SMS chain.

• Feces(February20–March20): You killed ants in your childhood. As a revenge, you have already faced some serious problems. Allow them to crawl, across various diagonals

*If you are really interested in increasing your CAT Percentile than better try Baba Camdev’s Cat Score Emulsifier Churan. Ganga Maiyya Ki Kasam, asar hoga. If you practice these mantras with churan daily, you will surely crack CAT with 101%tile.