IIM Indore’s Narendra Agarwal, his wife Poonam and their son Arnav

In the days gone by, synonyms for ‘marriage’ could easily be settled, family, sacrifice, children, stop living your own life. Today, the synonyms read more like ‘fun, study, partner, parties, friends, freedom. Thanks to a large number of b-school students pursuing an MBA post marriage, life actually begins on the campus they say and happiness is nothing but a a supportive spouse, classes, assignments, hostel life and parties – all bunched up together.

Favourite question WHY?

There are different reasons why candidates seem to be pursuing an MBA post marriage. For some, marriage just happened earlier in life, while for others, it is a chalked out measure to get married first and study later. Narendra Agarwal from Indian Institute of Management, (IIM) Indore, always wanted to do an MBA but just happened to get married early in life, while for Anand Gopalkrishnan from National Institute of Industrial Engineering (NITIE), MBA was always a goal since engineering days. I had two unsuccessful attempts at CAT earlier and since I had a PSU job, I decided to get into an MBA only if I get into the super league schools. My wife knew about my plans. This year I got into NITIE and MDI so decided to go to NITIE.

For the women, the reasons sway a little. Shivani Nanda from MDI married after completing her first year MBA. “The marriage in-between my MBA just happened,” she states. For Manita Bhima from NITIE, marriage came on the cards during her engineering days , so she is used to ‘studying and being married’ for a long time now. Varun Krishnan from IIM Indore also married while doing his MBA. I did not do an MBA earlier because I wanted to do something different but eventually realised this is where is I want to be and by then I was already married, said Varun.

Surely, a spouse is a distraction!

No, say most of the couples, In fact, they told PaGaLGuY say that contrary to traditional view, having a spouse actually helps and if at all, it is a welcome distraction, as Narendra puts it. Jigish Patel from MDI says that much depends on the spouse. If the spouse has been exposed to the rigor of what an MBA course entails, it helps in better understanding. Kalpesh Sharma and Harsh Maru from MDI say that having a spouse actually helps. Kalpesh says his wife is his ‘biggest motivator’ while Harsh says that life is easy. I can stay focused on my MBA, since her support is always there.

Manita, who stays alone on campus, agrees and says that it is a welcome addition for her as both her as well as her husband’s family support her in her MBA dream. Anand’s wife is also not on campus and has to make do with a couple of calls to her daily, but he is honest enough to admit that having his wife on campus would have been a distraction. Fortunately, she has her career too and based out of Chennai so that becomes a kind of blessing as well as a curse, he says.

Anand Gopalkrishnan with his wife Parvathy

What about peer acceptability?

Traditionally viewed, having a spouse either on campus or far away, restricts alliances – be it personal or professional. B-school married students beg to differ. Narendra says that acceptability by peers is never an issue. My family is well-accepted and my son is the most loved person on campus, the proud father says. Shankar Kumar Jha from MDI says that though he is staying alone on campus, no one ever makes him feel different only because he is married. Manita also says that being married never came in the way since her husband also interacts with her classmates regularly. In fact, I feel proud of being married among all the bachelors, she says. Anand says that sometimes he is teased because of his marital status but it is all in fun. I am one of the few married guys on campus but I don’t feel bad because I know I took a good decision by marrying my college sweetheart, he says.

Is it easy managing fun and work together?

Strangely, most couples say it is not easy but still worth the experience. While Preety Bansal Sharma from MDI simple says it is an arduous task to manage both, Shivani says that is not a cakewalk. It does take a toll on you when have late night group work and classes on weekends.” Manita confesses that sometimes it gets difficult when there are important things going on in parallel on both fronts. But patience and time management solves everything, she adds.

The men agree to a point too, given that none of the couples believe in the age-old role play of a husband and wife. Today men play as active a role in ‘family affairs’ as the wife does in getting the moolah home. Kalpesh confesses that it is not easy to manage both well but that is what managers are supposed to do, manage time well. The IIM Indore students agree too. Narendra says that it is not easy but definitely manageable while Varun says it is not easy and I place my family first.

For some, the campus facilities available for ‘families’ provide much relief. Married students from IIM Indore and Xavier Labour Research Institute (XLRI) says the facilities provided on the campus are super cool and that helps in their married life, those from NITIE, MDI feel otherwise. Students from NITIE say that ‘married student accommodation not available for PGDIM students, MDI students say that there are not exclusive facilities for married couples on campus

Manita Bhima from NITIE

Has the MBA bit rub-off on the spouse?

For some, the better halves have their own academic goals to pursue, for others their spouse having done an MBA before was the inspiration. Varun and Shankar say that their respective wives are also pursuing higher studies but not an MBA and that is good enough since both are immersed in academic activity and help each others’ thought processes. Manita says that her husband has already done his masters in Mathematics and currently a Centre-co-ordinator for FIITJEE so an MBA is not in the offing. Narendra is sure his wife does not want to do an MBA while Anand is hoping his wife will do one since in her heart, she also wants to do it. For Shivani and Preety, their respective husband have already done an MBA and that was a big factor in goading them to go for it.

But does life not stop after marriage in India?

B-school married students are far away from conventional wisdom – they believe in fact, that life has just started for them. Shankar says that he now has one more person in his life who wants to see him attain his goal while Harsh says that life never stops. After marriage, one becomes more averse to taking risks, that’s all, he states. Preety, on the other hand, argues that managing a marriage and MBA is as difficult as managing a job with a family so life does not really stop after marriage. Manita is more candid. She admits that after he engineering she did think it’s enough now. Let’s focus more on my family. But something was making me uncomfortable as I always wanted to do a post graduation so decided to go for an MBA. Initially, there was resistance from both the families but I convinced them. Families have begun to understand that even women have dreams of their own, the NITIE student added.

Most of the married students who PaGaLGuY spoke to, had not taken a loan to do their MBA, having had held good jobs before. A few who had, said that a guilty conscience never pricked them as the loan would ultimately land them in a good job, which finally meant a happy family too. All have dreams for the future. In ten years, Manita wants to see herself in a top management role, Shankar and Kalpesh want to head own business ventures and Anand wants to be in a well-paying job in an FMCG or manufacturing sector. Some of the others have not yet planned but are sure of one thing that their family will be a huge part of their big dream.

The wonder couple

Ipshita Ghosh and Samarjit Mazumdar from XLRI, Jamshedpur

Ipshita Ghosh and Samarjit Mazumdar can easily be called the wonder couple since they share the unique tag of probably being the only b-school husband-wife pursuing an MBA from XLRI at the same time. Teenage sweethearts from Kolkata, the two met and fell in love some 12 years ago. Eight years later, they tied the knot and the last four years of married life have been the most enjoyable ones of their lives. Having pursued an engineering degree at the same time and also having worked for approximately the same number of years, the two treasure studying an MBA together. Studies could never have got more interesting, than this, the couple vouch.

The duo decided to go for an MBA post marriage since it was an old dream. We had both considered doing an MBA after competing our engineering. But we postponed our plans since professional experience was essential to appreciate what MBA education has to offer, so we worked in the IT services and consulting individually, said Ipshita. For the two, life has been a joyous ride since both shared the same goal at all important junctures of their lives. Since we both have the same dream, it was and is easy for us to encourage and support each other. Also our families supported our dreams all the way, said Samarjit.

As for dividing responsibilities between marriage and studies, the two say that having known each other for so long, they have learnt to strike the right balance between demands of both a personal as well as professional life. Also, Samarjit adds that since both are pursuing an MBA together, they know the pressures of the job and the marriage and have worked out solutions together. The couple feel absolutely at home in class or with friends since their peers are ‘mature’ and there are many married students on the campus too. The infrastructure at XLRI is also good as the family apartment provides all amenities for a comfortable stay, adds Ipshita.

Both dream of functioning in a senior executive position in years to come but what is more important is the journey, the say. To strike the right work-life balance is as important for us as making it big, says Ipshita.