My parents also started preparing for my exam in their own way. My mother held fast on every 3rd day. They consulted with the “family astrologer” about pleasing Rahu-Ketu who were creating a hurdle in my way to success. They asked for the auspicious dates when celestial bodies were in syzygy. The result was: I had one extra ring on my finger and the red coloured holy thread tied on my wrist. Equipped with all these divine weapons, I was prepared to charge. The day finally arrived. Six months of preparation was to be tested in two and a half hour test. Bang..!

I came out of the testing centre stupefied. I was not able to grasp what had happened. Was my paper tough? or had I failed again ? I called my friend who told me that he had a similar experience. I felt a bit relieved; realizing that the paper was indeed on the tougher side. Anyway, there was nothing that could be done now. I didn’t read any of the reviews about my slot and ostracized myself from the hysteria. I didn’t realise though that you can run away but you can’t escape the claws of a “cat”.

A week later, I got to know that questions were being leaked on social networking sites and some “lucky” ones had 2-3 questions in their slots whose answers they already knew. WHOA !! What now? Should I start preparing for the next year ? I told this to my father who nonchalantly replied, “bhagwaan pe bharosa rakho.”

By God’s grace, I had cracked the toughest engineering entrance exam of India back in 2007. It told me that with hard work, you can make your destiny. All you need to do is be tenacious about your goal and you will have it. But this exam made me realise some very peculiar characteristics of life. Life is not fair, your success is not directly proportional to the amount of hard work you put into. Luck will always play its role in shaping your destiny. There are somethings beyond your control. Accept this fact and live with it.

Finally, what about the results ? I don’t know. I am waiting like everybody else. But I am ready to fail.

“Some goals are so worthy, it is glorious even to fail” (Lt.) Captain Manoj Kumar Pandey

Will I try again? Yes, definitely. This is the only thing I can do and I will.

This whole journey through the abyss has taught me many things and perhaps made me a stronger person. The good thing is it has not ended yet. I am still looking for an iota of light in the darkness.

But it is time to sign off..

Part 1: https://testing.pagalguy.com/news/my-journey-into-abyss-a-18057366/

Part 2: https://testing.pagalguy.com/news/my-journey-into-abyss-part-ii-a-18059573/r-18067178