The work done by the PaGaLGuY editorial team is notoriously challenging. Some days they deal with a ridiculously self-important MBA student who stalks them every 20 minutes through all possible forms of communication for his press release to be published on this blog, some days it is a poor sap who’s dealing with the existential dilemma of why his literary pursuits haven’t been given their appropriate due. Most press releases are written rather poorly; some press releases insinuate that the speech given by a CEO at their school deserves home page pluggage, some of them talk about things that would bore even the least curious press reporter, some talk about the ten saplings that have been planted in a campus, some wax eloquent about how twenty-eight people enjoyed the recent fest held at their college.

Now, amidst all of this, comes a literary masterpiece that just begs sharing. This brightened up our day. Most of our morning has been spent laughing. Some people in office are now claiming stomach cramps and the other half are just on the verge of busting a gut open.

Here is the press release in total, uncensored.

“Dr. V. Kasturi Rangan of Harvard Business School talks teaches Great Lakers about Business at the base of the pyramid

Christmas Eve in the campus can hardly be bettered. Tiny little light bulbs strung round the flower heads ran along the stair case. Glistening purple antennae of ornamental work embroidered around the lonely pillars suffused life into them. So overwhelmed was earth that as if to breathe heavily through the newly acquired life, she metamorphosed a lady from the dead timber with all the bulbs running through the threads of her sari’s hem. It was not until the loud music lolloped in the air and ricocheted in the basketball court; it was not until the juices of succulent dishes encircled the tongue in a viscous grip that all the pensive fellows realised the memories that they were going to retain for a long time.

But before any of this happened- as before the species evolved in the ocean bed, sun’s ultra violet rays fertilised the primeval Darwinian soup- Dr. Rangan, with his piercing evocation of emotions in patriots, appealed to all the future business leaders to uplift the society. The speaker observed that the 65:35 distribution (base of the pyramid: top of the pyramid) was inching closer to 50:50. He observed that by the year 2040, a good proportion of the world’s population would have crossed the $2000/annum mark; today’s pyramid would have become a rectangle by then.

Citing examples from HUL’s Shakti program, Nestle’s diary practices, Manila Water Company’s audacious efforts, Dr. Rangan noted that profits were merely means to the ultimate goal- uplifting the society. In his lecture, he delineated the differences between the innovative business practices and the initiatives adopted by businesses in the form of CSR. The former, he assured would lead to the benefit of the society, later he felt were of apocryphal nature.

Towards the end of the session, Dr. Rangan appealed to the class the urgent need for social responsibility and shared a firm belief in the class (of 2010) pursuing the same.”

On a serious note (seriously), 90% of the press releases we receive from business schools are not worth publishing. To the media cells: Stop hiring ‘literary artists’ to head your media teams. Send us news, some real content and not a compilation of business keywords or biblical texts that pretend to be knowledge. Summarize in a 100 words the gist of the news and it would make sense for us to carry it. Else, we will print out your press release and stick it on our dart-boards and resume laughing. We need our entertainment too.