At the age of 15, Ashish Goyal lost his vision but did not lose hope and courage. In a freewheeling interview with PaGaLGuY.com, this MBA student from The Wharton School, University of Pennsylvania and an alumnus of NMIMS reveals more about his MBA journey, the traumatic years of coping with his visual difficulties and him being a role model.
Initially when you came to know that you were losing your vision how did you feel? How did your family support you to cope with this trauma?
I believe my parents knew about the fact that I might lose my vision when I was just 12 or so. I think that they were shocked, in disbelief and obviously in denial of what could have been. I started losing night vision and then day vision from the age of 14 and at the first instance thought that it was more because of my not observing things properly rather than my eyesight. It dawned on me more and more as I started losing vision gradually. As a teenager with tons of aspirations in mind, it was quite frustrating, challenging, disappointing as well as scary. My family too was unable to help me in anyways, even though they wanted to and there was a sense of helplessness. But the key was that they did not let that trickle down to me- in fact they kept the environment very positive and helped me come through the tough situation.
I lost my vision over a period of five years or so and believe me it was a slow and lonely five-year period. I just could not fathom what was going wrong and WHY ME was the question I would ask. I so wanted to continue learning and playing tennis, to drive my car, to study well and wanted to do everything that a 15 to 18 year old boy would want to do. But I could not and the worst was when I stopped making friends, as no one would understand me.
At one stage I wanted to give up, I had no confidence and wanted to let go of everything. I wanted to be secluded as I thought I would never be capable of doing anything. I had no confidence in my ability to work or even study ahead. All I wanted to do is live at home and give up everything. But my family and my Guruji kept me going and helped me through this trauma.
What were the external barriers you faced? Besides the external difficulties what internal barriers or challenges did you go through? What motivated you to move ahead in life?
There were a lot of external and internal barriers. Externally, when you meet some who is not normal or with any kind of disability, they already are treated differently. I faced social isolation for a while, and obviously a lot of physical barriers as not having vision made life semi miserable in a city like Mumbai. Academics was a challenge as the Indian education system is still not geared to handle anything like this nor is the physical infrastructure in government services or transportation as well as in a professional setting in jobs.
Internally it was the fact that there was nothing I thought that was in my hand. I could not believe what happened or was happening and obviously my morale was at a low. Every small thing I needed to do was a challenge, from choosing my clothes to wear to going from home for a haircut or traveling to another city for anything. The only thought in my mind was that I was a burden on everyone and that I would never be able to live an independent life. At that age people plan to make a career and support their family and here I was in a situation where I thought my family would have to support me forever.
But as I mentioned above, as a 20 year old man, with a BCom degree, I realized that life was not over. I had tons to do and lots to learn. I decided to take on things in my own and small way. I realized, all with the help of my family, that I could seek alternatives and seek solutions. I took one step at a time and things started changing. I realized that the lesser importance I gave my own disability, people around me would be more accepting. I started regaining confidence and though it was not easy- every step I took was a risk, but it started paying off and I kept building my belief in myself. And since then I have always tried. I have and even now face challenges at every step of life. I have to prove myself and still take time for people to accept me, but I dont let that affect me and keep doing (hopefully) my best.
You have done an MBA from Narsee Monjee, Mumbai and currently are pursuing one from Wharton. How did you prepare for both your MBAs?
My MBA from NMIMS was straight after my undergrad. I had just lost my vision and was trying to cope with it and also try new things. It was my first step really after this new world that I was in. The first day of NMIMS must be the most difficult day of my life, I came home and cried (sounds silly now), and I did not know why was I trying to do this (MBA) and thought no one wanted to talk to me. But then like I said, as time went off- things started falling in place. I did not prepare much, the studies were not that difficult and the atmosphere was pretty decent.
My Wharton MBA is a totally different experience. I have come here after working in the financial markets. I know I am here with a goal in mind and am here to learn as much as I can about everything. I am here to enhance my learning, knowledge, gain exposure to global business and expand my boundaries as an individual. Again, studies are not that tough, they are quite demanding though. But after having worked and also being surrounded by individuals with such amazing and varied backgrounds, class discussions are amazing and the learning is steep.
The difference is that here as a visually impaired individual, there is an office for students with disabilities that tries its best to make things accessible to me and people are more sensitive (not that they were not at NMIMS).
Do you think there is a lot of difference in the approach and preparation required for both?
I think so, like I said the fact that you go to a BSchool right after my under graduation your entire focus is just on academics and you come with a narrow perspective. Whereas here you get such different perspectives that the learning is at a different level. The other difference is that the professors are just the best; their research is again at a global level. I had some very good professors at NMIMS as well, some of whom I am still in touch with.
Why did you feel the need to do another MBA?
I wanted to transition into a global business environment. I thought that having spent three to four years in the Indian financial markets, it was time to move on. So for my personal as well as professional growth, I thought another MBA would be the perfect way forward.
What is the difference in the support you received from faculty and peers, infrastructure and assistive technology at both the institutions?
As I mentioned before, the support I receive from faculty and peers is not much different. They were very nice then and are very nice here as well. The difference is in the support I receive from the institution. I would not like to say that NMIMS did not support me, it is how any institution in India is there is no difference. The fact is that accommodating disability is a big thing in the US whereas its not a priority as yet in India. What people dont realize that an accommodation in the US does not mean that you are given things easily. They only try and make sure that you are at a level playing field and then its fair for you to compete. Again, not having sight cannot be totally accommodated, if there is a graph on the slides, its humanly or even technologically impossible for me to be accommodated, but then thats how things are. But if other things that can be taken care of are, then life becomes much simpler.
Do you feel Indian companies are sensitive and adequately equipped towards employment of people with disabilities? How did you feel when despite being a topper at NMIMS companies did not select you? How was your experience working with ING Vysya bank?
It was an interesting period, listening to 'no' all the time until ING Vysya came to campus for recruitment. The funny thing was that no one even wanted to give me an opportunity to interview, forget giving me a job. I dont know what exactly the issue was, I guess its a matter of experience. If they see someone like me working satisfactorily, I believe perceptions might change, but as of now it is a big stereotype, but I would hate to generalize it across Indian companies. You should also realize that merit and disability are two things and its easy to blame everything on either of the two. But I did face a significant challenge when I was applying for jobs in India.
My recruiting experience in the US is a little different, though I would not say totally opposite. It was interesting going through the process, as I was probably the first visually impaired student that Career Management was working with, and also I was surprised that I did not get an instance of any other person like me working on Wall Street or in any of the top-consulting firms. At least some of the firms were very accepting and I ended up with a very decent summer job.
ING Vysya was very kind to me and I will always be grateful to them and to Mr. Raghunathan the President of the bank. They were very open to me and supportive. One of the recruiters told me as long as you can do the job I dont care whether you are disabled or not.
How would you compare the, attitudes, access and acceptance of people towards visually impaired in India and abroad? Do you think it is necessary that companies in India should have a Code of Disability for employment of disabled? What would be your suggestions?
More than a code or legislation, what needs to change is the attitude. Its the trust and belief is missing that disabled individuals are capable. I believe it is changing for sure but slowly.
Can you tell us something about your life at Wharton? Where do you see yourself ten years from now? Do you see yourself making a difference in the lives of other people with disabilities?
I dont know where I will be ten years from now. It all depends on so many unknowns so I really dont want to make an essay type answer. All I know is that I want to live a happy life and it does not add as an answer. I surely see myself making a difference, in what way I do not know as yet.
My life at Wharton has been an incredible experience. I have learnt so much, made some wonderful friends and have enjoyed the ups and downs.
Who has been the major influence in your life? Who is your role model? What lessons has life taught you so far? What is your motto in life?
My motto in life, well it should be that I will keep trying and wont be afraid of failure. But whether I am totally following it is something I still have to figure out. My life has been influenced by: my family, my Guruji, the Atmasantulana family and my inspiration also includes Sachin Tendulkar.
What do you think has made it possible for you to overcome challenges and disability to follow your dreams? Personally and professionally, what has been the most defining moment in your life?
Every step I have taken has been a defining moment, because every step has been a dream come true. I think what I sometime reflect on is that being in my situation, I have been very lucky in whatever I have got and if you keep that in mind, things fall in perspective. Luck has played a major role and I am thankful to God for everything.
Do you see yourself as a role model? What advice would you give to individuals with disabilities? How could one cope with the barriers to reach greater heights in life?
It is very easy to give advice, but only you know what you go through so all I will say is that believe in yourself and dont let failures affect you. I also want to tell others something, people like me dont need sympathy, they only need the understanding of the fact that we are different and we do things differently. And its not always possible to make that adjustment but its not that difficult to do as well.
And a role model absolutely not I am just another individual struggling in this race of life.