An Anecdote From my Life

Jobs & Careers
252

'IIM huh?' mocked my classmate Vatsa when he yesterday found me studying during break time.

'IIMs are beyond our reach mate.' I replied.

'Be positive man, nothing is impossible.' replied the optimist within a fraction of a second.

I could not consider his reply anything other than a mere illusory perception. His beliefs actually are on the same track as of mine; just a year behind. Before a year, I was a firm believer in 'nothing is impossible'. I still do, but with that belief I also have the realization that achieving 'impossible' is a gamble of long odds. For instance, securing 99.9%ile in CAT doesn't guarantee your enrollment in IIM. Secure 99.9%ile and you are still short of reaching half way there. Its merely a starting point. The real race starts after that; GD, PI etc.

Just saying 'nothing is impossible' like my friend did wont help you achieve the impossible. For that you need to work arduous. The only thing I'm saying is that you wont succeed by only believing you will, though you need to, but by doing hard work. Success is hard work. Hard work is success.

Read more at

http://titanhets.blogspot.in

253

For most, life is smooth sailing, accepting what comes next and letting the herd push you, in this so-called race. Not for others. Not for me either.

Drowning academics from my first major exam uptill graduation. I was in a situation where thinking to get into an IT-MNC seemed impossible. Also, forgot to mention the crisis hit economy of the 2009. Well I was not alone, but with well below average academics and nothing major achieved ever to shine-my-CV-out, I was among the chosen few.

Though, I had an interest in coding (not sure if it was imposed by the environment), I always got an awesome feeling when those test-cases passed, miraculously. Never mind, that's not the point here, as anyone hardly codes and hardly anyone codes, I know that, I talked to God once (chuckle). So, the dreams were crushed by the road-roller like expectations of life, when the result window of the 4th year BE ordered me to appear for an exam, a final time, after the 4 years period (period to my career).

However, I got through pursuing a CDAC course, soon after (1 year to be exact) and opened that Glass Door in a well known IT MNC. But, never thought those academics will haunt me again, until I chose to pursue a PG. Ha ha ... I know. Even I might have chuckled the same way like my panelists did. But aren't they professionals, atleast I acted one there. But, what can I do to correct that. I performed my heart-out in CDAC, joined an NGO, learned French and added other similar extra-curricular stints to the CV. However, those academics are still prominent, in my otherwise useless profile.

Took CAT, scored decent, have work-ex and hoping, that the Glass Door will open again, as a Manager.

Living by the self-made fact: "One's achievement should not come easy, or his next ambition would be a waste for the society."

254

No, No, No. No politics or history here. Keeping the core idea same, I just flipped the coin to see a positive side of this DnR policy.

I have been actually using this technique for quite some years now. Be it any exam, I always devoted much of my time to planning my study schedule and pattern. At times I feel like replacing the word devoted with wasted, because my planning went on and on till the exam day. Surprisingly, the only thing I used to do in that big planning period was - to divide the number of pages to read by the number of days left till exam to know how much I had to read every day. I also used to divide number of pages to read every day by number of study hours per day. The purpose was clear – to know how much I needed to study then and not in two months. To keep this text simple, I am not even mentioning the calculation I did for the revisions.

Recently, I (almost) joined a gym. On the very first day, a not-so-built-up guy told me that I was lucky that the owner himself was not in that day. He apparently had a rule to check a perspective member's stamina with 300 push-ups and 100 sit-ups before taking them in. That was obviously the last time I hit the gym because till that day I could just about go through 50 push-ups in 3 sets of 20-15-15. To me even 100 seemed a little far-fetched, let alone 300. But the part that stuck with me was “to check one's stamina." I was feeling kind of embarrassed. So I started with my normal stamina aiming 50 push-ups in single set in a month and 100 in two. Fair enough. For a week I tried but the count increased barely from 20 to 25. I nearly gave up at times but then, I utilised the simple policy of dividing. One extra push up and sit up each day starting with 20. I started on Dec 1st and managed 50 by New Year's Eve; something which was too tough task to do a couple of weeks back.

Lessons learnt so far:-

*Your initial growth chart motivates you more. Don't stretch things at the very beginning. Start small.

*If I would have increased two push-ups every day, I believe I would have been exhausted after a fortnight. Keep your ambitious calculations practical.

*And lastly, the day you sleep without achieving your daily target, you have an excuse for the coming days. Be honest.

*The smile at achievement day wipe all the sweat you were soaked in so far. Be patient.

255

Tons of reviews read on PagalGuy and more than 82 events hosted and yet I was nervous. Tomorrow was "it". It was the day I quit my job for. It was the day I wrote 8 competitive exams for. Good "acads", decent extracurriculars. As PG experts would have said, the soccer and the hosting would give me the boost required to crack it. But would it?

My alarm rang, but I was hardly asleep. I woke up and saw the date. I felt a rush. A strange rush. My heart was beating twice the normal rate and yet my brain would say everything will be fine. "You can do it. You have to do it. This is why you spent three months of your life without a salary slogging!"

Essay was a cake walk and the topic was AAP. With Kejriwal resigning that morning, moderators were bound to snatch the paper from me. I had a warm grin. I felt better. "It cant be that hard. Now the GD. Kill it man. Your the man!"

The topic was AAP again. 2 minutes to jot down all the points possible. Were the Gods suddenly happy at me? I was ready. The moderator finally said, "Go!"

The person on my left started before my brain could process the word "Go". He went on to say 8 of the 10 points I had gathered. I was shocked at his confidence and control over the language. All the more he timed each sentence so well that I couldn't once butt in. Here was my chance, his voice trembled down. And I raised my pencil to make a point, but the lady opposite me started against the topic, and went on for a good two minutes. All I could say was "But I want to add that", and the guy on my right took control. He started talking and went on till it turned into a fish market. I was fighting tears. My heart was beating three times its rate. I had screwed it. I messed up. Was I not good enough? Was the whole world better than me. The moment paused in front of my eyes. I could see successful MBA grads for a moment. I felt like a loser. I spoke 4 irrelevant words in the GD for which I quit my job. One panelist pointed briefly towards me and whispered something to the other. I was the one who dint talk that day. I was the one who was an introvert. I was asked to summarize but was too broken down to do that. I gathered up some points and gave an irrelevant summary as well.

I came back to the waiting room and realized I am the one who's gonna say my GD went bad. With a career full of hosting events, my existence in the room went unnoticed. The moment had past and so had my confidence. My PI hardly mattered anymore. Another day. Another year?

256

I woke up to see 4 missed calls from my friend and by the time i could open my eyes fully, She was calling again. For a person who's been working Night shifts and did not have a CAT so great that he would be dreaming of IIM-A,B,C ;i wasn't too keen on checking the results.All of us know what we did out there in those 140 minutes. I was really hoping if there was a power that could have made me skip the entire day. I was okay if my organization wont pay for one day of work. I am the kind of guy who won't get jealous because others achieved something great but would introspect and ask, " What did you do"? SNAP results had been announced a couple of days back and i had scored a 89.xx. I had dreamed of SIIB, SIBM-B'lore with that score[thinking the AP Scores are going to get the cutoffs a notch lower] but then, Life has this way of stumping you when you feel you are going to hit a boundary.

I did not get a call from SIIB or SIBM - B'lore. The weekend after the CAT results were out was the most gloomy weekend i have ever had. I felt dejected, low. Thinking that every thing's come to an end. I took to pagalguy and saw Posts on GMAT. With close to 3 years of work ex, that was the only option left in my mind. I thought about how i could have had a better CAT score and how i ruined the only chance i had to glory[Yes. I am a United Supporter].

I was going back to Gurgaon[where i work] on Monday evening and i checked a CAT group for i was used to doing the same. "XAT results declared", said one of the posts.

I remembered my XAT ID for some odd reason. I checked the result and it was a 94.xx. I had tears in my eyes. I could not believe it. I called up my father and with a heavy voice i said," I am back in the game".

Here's a few things i want you to remember :

1. No amount of hard work ever goes waste. God has his ways of rewarding you. You have to accept it with full grace

2. Never ever lose on hope. I know the bible says," Stop hoping, Start believing". And i do understand that sometimes, it's too hard to just believe when everything seems to be going wrong. Hope is the support that keeps your boat afloat[That rhymed].

3. Believe in yourself.

I'd like to quote a dialogue from the Shawshank Redemption :

"Hope is a good thing. Maybe the best of things. And no good thing ever dies".

Rhetorical.

257

For a market analyst, sleep doesn't come easily unless we have our daily dose of combating with at least one of the acclaimed matrices and models. A part of our life, we actually spend trying to figure out where to place things in the mapping grids. Today was no different as I just had my fill of doing a SWOT analysis on an industry. I was almost on the verge of wearing my thinking hat and come up with some brilliant idea. But, this time my colleague beat me to it by suggesting we do a SWOT analysis on ourselves.

Wow, that is really some thought and a new one too. A group of analysts who churns out reports full of all matrices and models, some developed by great minds of the era and some developed by greater minds (none other than us), set out on this path of self-discovery.

Self-discovery is really not the word for it, as it was more of a group thinking exercise where we made a SWOT analysis on all team members. As the quadrants of my matrix filled up, I could not help wonder how much we know and do not know about ourselves. I always thought I knew the most about me and I was wonder struck by how much my team mates knew about me.

Time for Johari window and one by one, all those models I have made multiple times was unveiling in a new light. I have used these models a number of times, so much so that I have lost count, but was too short sighted that I have never looked beyond a market point of view. Today I could finally relate the models to my life and the analysis was totally worth it. Alas, if we could conjure everything in the world in form of 2X2 matrix, life would have been easier.

You can call it over enthusiasm of an analyst, whatever, today I did a Porters Five Forces, BCG and Ansoff matrix on my life. It may sound funny, but I was amazed how snugly it fit to the various scenarios in my life. That gives me yet another excuse to stop beating around the markets and look at what is in it for me. Sometime back a trainer told us a story of how we should always have sometime for sharpening the axe, if we want to be the best wood cutter around. How true. Self-reflection at times can really help us get where we want to be.

To end the story, today I had my dose of analyzing some models and I can sleep tight, now that I have made one good piece of analysis.

Written by Shruthi Parakkal. She is an alumna of Amrita School of Business (MBA Batch of 2009-11). She is currently a Research Analyst – Healthcare & IT at Frost & Sullivan

258

Last week I was in Mumbai, sadly for a B-school interview and not for any film audition. The interview experience was more like a flop show from my side but the real picture started at the commencement of my return journey, when I saw my name at wait-list # 1 on the charts of the train I had to board. Staying back wasn't an option so after a lot of contemplation I got a ticket for the unreserved second class a.k.a. “The General Dabba”.

Seeing the number of people who were waiting to get accommodated in that single coach I got goose bumps and for a moment I thought to do away with the ticket and think of an alternative. Meanwhile the train arrived and that massive human wave drifted towards it. It appeared as if the world was going to end tomorrow and this train was the only hope for survival. With all my guts I rushed towards the door and pushed myself onto the train somehow .The way people were fighting and abusing for a seat, even our politicians would've felt inferiority complex on seeing that. Suddenly my gaze shifted to a vacant seat at the end of the compartment and I ran like a mad man to grab it. Luckily I got enough space to rest my bottom but the thought of sitting continuously for 20 hours amid such ruckus made me jittery. With six people on a seat meant for four, I felt like a cheese slice with two breads on each side. “Bon Voyage”, I said to calm myself.

With every passing station more people hopped on. Surprisingly, everyone got adjusted in an already jam-packed situation. Amidst all this hassle my stomach ached for food and “Vada Pao” was all I could get. The sight of Eunuchs demanding money from passengers brought a smile on my face. The initial awkwardness had subsided by now and I felt more comfortable, not physically though. As the train paced through the outskirts, cool breeze seeped in. The unbothered souls dangling at the door infused audacity in me to face the chill. Some people relished a carefree sleep on the floor, while I was busy counting sheep in my head. Finally , my maiden journey in second class ended with a yawn ,at the dawn.

As I pen down this travelogue, some thoughts bother my intellect. The classes in the train seem to have a striking analogy with the classes of society. Sitting in an air conditioned compartment of the same train you never realize how life can be so contrasting in a different bogey. No matter how messed up your life is, there's always somebody out there who is facing things you can't even think of. A lot of people are happy and content with a lot less than what you have. If you don't feel grateful for what you already have, what makes you think you'd be happy with more?

259

Everything that you see today or experience today is a result of the thoughts, actions, imaginations and a number of words told, untold and imagined by YOU.

There was this girl who attracted my instant attention during my graduation days. She was actually my school mate. I never noticed her when I was at school. She is the one who remembered me and sent a friend request on ORKUT during my first year of graduation. After that, as usual I fell in the trap of LOVE. I was true to myself. Completely aware and wasted my 4 years of ENGINEERING thinking about her. She had asked me to do an MBA. I was reluctant then. Because, I don't believe in suggestions and all that stuff. I'm the one who believes that a decision that you take in a life should be a result of deep introspection of your skillset, past experiences and of course the future that you wish to see or just keep it simple "A FUTURE THAT YOU SKETCH IN YOUR DREAMS". I would love to imagine what I always love to see in my life. At that point of time, in my life MBA was just a 3 letter word without much significance. With these kind of thoughts from me, it is obvious that she was unhappy.

And now, we're busy in our own lives. She is working for a software company. I'm working for a telecom. We're no more together.

But there are few things I just want to mention here.

From the very first day of my joining, all that I did was dreaming about the MBA and life at IIMs. I joined CAT coaching when I was initially posted at Kolkata and exactly after 2 months I had been transferred to Noida. I had to withdraw from the enrolled coaching institute as there was no branch of this institute at Noida. I had to give up. I joined another institute at Noida. After 3 months I had been transferred again to Mumbai. My FIRST ATTEMPT was a big failure. Now I have joined the coaching again in the month of Feb,2014 hoping to achieve all my dreams with hard work, perseverance and above all LOVE for the LOVE OF MY LIFE.

"When you LOVE someone truly, its actually WORSHIP.

There was never a SINGLE DAY without her in my IMAGINATION.There was never a SINGLE DAY without her in my AMBITION.There was never a SINGLE DAY without her in my CONVERSATION.I just hope to see an entire WORLD of my imagination turning out to a REALITY some day, in the near future."

Guys, finally I conclude saying that

"It is just the LOVE to do things which drives the people on this planet, not just the thing that fascinates you."

All the best

260

They say life is colorful; I'm sharing one grey anecdote.

I moved in to a new flat with a big window and a balcony with a not-so-amazing-view-of-another-society attached to my room. Then, entangled in some personal mess I often used to go out in the balcony at wee hours, listen to the silence and try to dis-entwine.

The very second night after I moved in, I was out there all by myself, when I heard a woman cry. It was loud. Scared, I went back inside and tried to watch through my window. The voice emerged from the opposite apartment. Though the lights were dim, I could see a man hit a woman with a rod or something. I could hear exchange of words, and then the man clutched her hair with one hand and slapped her with the other, repeatedly. Precisely, every time she spoke. I saw her getting thrashed again and again, along with an outburst of expletives. With cold shiver running down my spine, I called my nishachar friend and told him that it could be a burglary and I should call the police. A part of me knew it wasn't burglary, it was domestic violence. He consoled me and asked me not to meddle, stay indoors, lock the doors, and switch off the lights and go to sleep. I did all in the prescribed order, save the last thing.

The next morning almost everything was fine. No news of robbery circulated. I even asked the guard who corroborated the same. Later that late evening, I and my solitude again went back to the balcony to enjoy the general repentance and loneliness. I sat there for about ten minutes until I noticed that the woman from last night was sitting and sobbing right across me, in her balcony. Blood mixed with saliva and tears tripped down from the corner of her swollen cracked lips. She smiled, pretentiously. To be honest a little freaked to see a woman with scarred face smile at that wee hour made me run back in, again. There were no curtains then, and I could still see her through my naked window and she could see me. The silence spoke louder than words ever did.

This continued for another couple of nights. I wanted to help, but I was scared of her man and I was new to town. I didn't know anyone and I hardly had the courage to trust anyone. So, every night she would sit across me black and blue, and we both would sheepishly smile. Pain connected us without speaking or knowing each other.

Then one morning, I ran into her at the grocery shop confirming her existence and that she isn't one of the nocturnal souls I've been seeing lately. She did recognize me. Her messed up countenance threw a kind smile at me. With one slightly burnt arm she paid for the things and carried the groceries while the other arm supported a child who slept clutching to her body. “Namaste! Can I help you!?” I said, flashing the same sheepish smile from other nights. Her husband saw me speak to her, and he paced up with a respected company id card oscillating from his neck. Seeing the ID card, my first thought was that he was perhaps just a literate, and not an educated man. She somehow managed to carry both, the groceries and her baby, and walked hurriedly towards him. Suddenly, she turned back with wet eyes and whispered, “No! you cannot, no one can”.

And the couple moved in few days. I never saw them again. But her words still echo.

In retrospect, (not getting into what the couple's problem was), I wonder, did no one in my building or the one where they lived had the courage to speak up? Did the man know what picture his child was developing? Will the child ever respect women? Either he'll end up being like his father, or he'll hate him forever. And either is undesirable.
Why do men impose power by hitting? Or is the fairer sex that weak? Is humanity lost? #FoodForThought


261

Its always graduation's second year

when we are ready to understand MAT/CAT fear,

TIme,Alchemist,PT, we have all the passes

we choose one and start taking classes.

Before exam, its always quant, reasoning or verbal

after exam we take some medicines, that are herbal

because we do the interpretation with lots of data

and the results say,''tu to cut off main reh gaya beta!"

With some decent score the selection is done

MBA starts, but not necessary with the BIG (IIMs) One

First sem is a mixture of tough and easy

boys with girls and 'only boys with girls' are always busy

life goes on, with some serious studies

2 years are enough to make some cool buddies

but lets not forget semesters and mid term

the only phase when we're serious and stern


marketing, HR, finance etc, subjects we choose

and in our specialization, we never loose

some students with superb marks and intelligently performed

and with some faculties, bond is formed

freshers, events, competitions and farewell

notice board with results and heart says...Aal is well! aal is well!

with all mixed feelings two years are done

holding a degree in hand, feels as if world cup we've won

and then comes a situation with an obvious mob

everyone needs a package full job

some gets through, some are stuck

some earns well and some says, "Fhat the wuck!"

i know, we already know this

but for those who are thinking, do not miss

go write the exam and do it your way

This is MBA, with everything you wish to do, i say.

262

When we were 4

It was time to learn,

School was never bore

Teachers' were not stern


Made friends

Never we cried,

Unaware of trends

Smile we never hide.


Every moment was fun

Studied Li'll bit,

Homework was always done

Exams were scary and shit.


Never we knew

The time was gone,

Sad memories were few

And college was ON.


We were freak

Girls came in,

Danced to the peak

Tension was in bin.


Matured we became

Responsibility was shown,

Played life's game

Mind was grown.


Everything was fine

Before the job,

remembered summer of 69

After seeing the mob.


Tears rolled down the cheeks

To earn, we were sent,

We dressed like geeks

We miss, being student.


263

We all were apprehensive about this trip. We had recently joined a global company and an adventure tour was part of our training. Some of us did not want to miss TV, some did not want to miss talking to their girlfriends or boyfriends (as network was not available at adv tour site), one of us did not want to miss FIFA World Cup. But we had to go, how can we say 'no'?

We were in sleeper class of “Utkal” train and was travelling to “Haridwar”. One small kid in same bogey asked “what you all do?” “We are software engineers” replied one of my friends. “Where are you going?” the boy asked quickly. “To climb mountains” said another friend of mine. “But why does a software engineer require to climb mountains?” the boy questioned innocently. We smiled as even we were thinking the same.

The journey started…

I opened my eyes after the most deep sleep I ever had. It was 5 a.m, and this was the first time I woke up this early without any considerable effort. I came out of my tent and what I saw was something that I had seen in movies only, there were mountains on one side and a river on the other side, many birds singing their morning song and a cool breeze making me believe that I am alive. I really forget this in my 9 to 6 job and amongst many tensions. I was out on an adventure tour in uttarkashi and this was first morning of my 10-day long tour.

I take my glass and go out to take tea from kitchen. My guide informs me that in fifteen minutes, group will leave for exercise and yoga. We were divided in three groups and were made to do basic exercises, deep breathing and yoga at 6 am in the morning. We all knew that it was a good thing and gonna help us in coming days, but our lazy attitude always kept complaining in our mind. But I knew that it was a new starting, for the first time I was doing something that I wanted to do but was unable always.

Everything was moving so quickly that after an hour I find myself in front of a 100 ft mountain with a safety rope hanging and my teammates trying to reach on the top. My mind said “Boss, this is impossible, with this much weight, you won't be able to do it”. But deep inside my heart said, “You are gonna do it. If anyone can do it, it's you and only you. You are meant for conquering all challenges”. I started slowly, there was no place to keep your feet, almost impossible to climb, but like it is said that don't think about challenges and tough situations, when time will come all resources will be with you to make you overcome all challenges, felt a different energy level, some strength came from nowhere and I was able to pull myself up. I was at the top and it made me smile that I overcame my fear.

First day passed so quickly and we were among the mountains to do another task. we had to climb to a 80 feet cliff and then come down with the help of ropes. We had to come down in two ways, first by sliding on a slanted rope and second by a vertical rope. I reached at the top and being a vertigo, strange things started happening, I was thirsty with no water around and my legs were shivering. I had no control over myself and I did know how I will be doing this task. My turn came and now I was at the edge of cliff, trying to hold my trainer out of fear, suddenly he asks me to start falling, there was a safety rope attached, but I was scared of that height, somehow tries to keep myself afloat in air ,and uncontrollably slides down to a lower level, my trainer yells and instructs me to be slow, but out of fear I almost have forgotten all his instructions, I somehow regain my composure and chants “gayatri mantra” and slowly starts again and to my surprise reaches down smoothly.

Days passed so quickly and tasks kept getting tougher, whether it was crossing the river with the help of a rope or surviving on all your own in a village among heavy rain. We were asked to reach a village at 5000 ft by walking through hilly areas and set up our camp, cook our food and survive all night without any help from trainers. As soon as we reached at the top, heavy rain came down and our tents were blown away by heavy rain and storm. We were shivering in cold and do not know how we gonna survive. We kept praying to God. Rain stopped after 3 hours and we were able to set up tents again. We set up fire with the help of some dry woods which we managed to save. 9 of us in our group divided all the work and started cooking “khichdi” and “chokha”. It was difficult to maintain a steady fire amongst heavy breeze , somehow we managed to cook our food. We ate like we were hungry from ages. Rain had stopped and we were sitting around bonfire. We kept humming songs till 3 am and that survival night became a night which we cannot forget ever.

To be Continued.............

Link of Part 2:

A New Horizon:Part 2

http://www.pagalguy.com/channels/writer/news/new-horizon-part-2-a-19077195/





264

Finally we were on our way to our main aim — to reach “surya” top (at 13,500 feet). We had to walk 3 days with 2 halts in between. First day, the path was good and we were able to walk fast, with some tough hilly areas in between. But walking 8 hours was not joke. We reached our first base camp after much hardship and took a temporary breath of relief. We relaxed that night and again started climbing next morning with all the “enthu” and “zeal”. The whole path was hilly and tough to climb, somehow we kept supporting each other and kept going, that was the strength of team , when one used to get tired, others kept motivating and vice versa. We reached our second base camp at afternoon and were too tired. Next morning, we were on our way to “surya” top, amongst beautiful meadows and amazing scenery. Everything we passed through in last 10 days was so fresh in our mind and was making us strong in their own way. We reached “surya” top at 10 a.m and It was the most beautifull site I have come across. Everything looked so simple from the top. But we all knew in our heart that the final outcome was just the reflection of small successes we had in all the moments.

I was again in the train and was on my way to home. My mind kept asking me what was that power that came from nowhere, helped you in going through this challenge. What was it that make people achieve impossible tasks when the strong will is there? Was it the chanting of “OM or Gayatri mantra”, was it the wonderful weather of “uttarkashi”, what was it that was nowhere but was everywhere, what was it that was too far but too near, what was it that was hard to understand and still simple to feel. I kept thinking about it and came to the conclusion that it was “THE POWER OF NOW”. Yes, it was the power of now that made me do everything.

All this while, amongst everything I have forgotten that “The now” was most important. I had become almost like a Robot, thinking I have been programmed to think about past and future. No moments passed without regretting the past and thinking about the imaginary beautiful future. I kept thinking “Why things went wrong” and ”used to imagine that if this happens I will be happy, If that happens I will be happy”. Life had become an infinite loop “if else” statements and there was no exit point. I had forgotten that all I had was “present moment ”, only this moment going into the past and only this moment was deciding my future. And I was ignoring this moment and all its fun. When I was hanging from that rope at 100 ft, I could not think about past or future, my whole concentration, my whole energy was at that moment and that made all the difference, and that was the point from which came that positive power to conquer, from having my whole and soul fixed at that particular moment. At that moment, I discovered that the “now” was the most beautiful and irrespective of what happened in past and what gonna happen in future. This moment is the most beautiful thing I had.

My mind went to that small boy and his question,”But why does a software engineer require to climb mountains?” and I answered in my heart “Yes, even software engineers need to climb mountains”.

The life was all about connecting those dots, I found one dot in the love of my parents, one dot in the guidance of my teachers, one dot in the affection of my friends, one dot in the eyes of that beautiful girl, one dot in the failures of my life and one at the top of 13,500 ft “Surya” top. The more I will explore, more dots I will get and clearer will be the picture of my life….


265

The busy schedule of life, the fast running of metros, the heavy traffic signals, the over irritating sound of vehicles, my fixed office incoming time but not sure about the exit time etc has become an indispensable part of my monotonous routine. These have their own consequences and one of them being is the inability to give proper time to reading stuff i once used to give.

In this changed scenario, i prefer to have a glimpse of Google news to have an update on major news; i like to have an update of their twitter account to know about all these events/people that are of my concern. I am happy to see the comedy show every night in the prime time news and enjoying the quarrel of our politicians. I don't forget to take a bunch of books while going on vacation since these hectic busy days don't give him enough opportunity to spare time for reading.

When i look back my vacation days spent during my home, i remember many people, mostly a generation older than me, sitting and reading hours continuously. There are some people who don't leave a single line in the newspaper editorial unread. And when i have one to one discussion with these people regarding any event i get astonished to see their depth of knowledge, the perception of the event and their way of thinking and opining the matter.

Reading has got its own set of advantages which we in our busy set of life fail to understand and prioritize. The decline in the reading habit cannot be perfectly attributed to the decline in the interest of the people. They can better be attributed to the fact that people hardly get time to read.

Reading habit makes you a good viewer of the subject. The reading forces you to contemplate on the matter which doesn't happen when you are looking for fast 100 news in 2 minutes on any news channel and in this way brings the best opinion out of you. Reading makes you a good critique of the subject. Reading helps you ask a good set of questions. So if one is not reading he will be deprived of all these benefits.

U Read – U Think – U question – U Understand – U are Understood.


266

I completed my engineering and got selected in Infosys, Wipro and CTS, like so many others. The only thing that really excited me towards joining an IT company, despite being an electrical engineer (am one of those rare ones who absolutely love circuits and wires and everything to do with them!!! :-p) is the amount of traveling we can do in a short period of time (well, I always wanted (and still do) to put on a rucksack and go around the world like crazy. :-)). But then I realized that I do not have to sit in front of a computer all my life and type codes (which am not a fan of, no offense please!) to travel the world and that I can postpone it a little in order to find my calling in life (dramatic huh!:-p) in terms of what I want to do. It was by chance that one of my friends told someone who was running a coaching center for Msc. physics students (for CSIR UGC exam), that I am really good with a subject for which he wanted a faculty. And so I was approached and hired. The first day I stepped into the class of 200, to my horror I realized that 90% students sitting there were above 23yrs of age, and I was 22 and also there were only 8 girls!!!! I had no idea how was I going to manage the class full of oh! so tall guys with long beards and mustaches staring right at me. I was scared, nervous, uncertain, doubtful and I had every other synonymous feeling going on inside me! I was almost sure that I am going to forget the subject as soon as I step on that stage. And so I did not step on it! To make myself familiar with the class I started by introducing myself while moving around the class. By the end of the introduction I was a little relaxed but then I realized that now they knew I was younger than most of them! And I was back to stage1!! :-p I can never forget the expression they had on their faces! It was like they had almost decided that I was a waste of time and most of them had closed their notebooks and slouched against their seats. And then....I had an Einstein Moment!!!!!!!!!!!!:-p

I announced in the class "Ok!! So you do not look like you are in a mood to study hence close your books and pack your bags!!(most of them had already done that and I knew there was no point shouting at them because I did not know how to and also obviously they were not going to obey me, so I went with the flow!!)We are going to learn different form of physics!!". They were confused but the whole idea of no notes was too luring for them, even if they were out of their teens, to remain slouched and give no heed.

I have been fascinated by physics since my childhood. I absolutely loved it, to an extent that if it were a man I would have married it! (That did not make any sense did it! :-p) It was not just formulae and numbers and weird laws, but it was magic for me. Though there are other subjects like bio and chem, slowly I discovered how without physics they cannot exist. And so on that day, the first class of my life dealing with physics I realized, that it was time to reveal its magic and aura to people around me. So what if they have completed masters in the subject, I was pretty sure they would not be able to answer a simple question, which was "What is physics? Who discovered it?". And I was back with a bang, confident and sure that these 200 students were going to love me all their life for letting them know how lucky they were to take up the subject for graduation! 1.5hrs of attention without a blink!!

That day was not a revelation just for those 200 people about how beautiful physics is but also for me! Now, I knew my "calling". Teaching!!!! I wanted to free people from the traps of "competitive education" and make them fall in love with their subject.Till today(am 24 now) I have dealt with students ranging from age groups 12-30yrs(almost 2500+ in number) many of whom have made it to IITs, NITs, etc., and most of them remember me, love me and are still in touch with me. Teacher's day is like a festival for me. :-D I have traveled to various cities and I have been earning pretty good(You can call it lavishly good, its a lot lot more than any company would ever pay me) :-). I am satisfied, content and happy. I am planning to start my own institute and I have a head full of ideas to implement and so much more to achieve. I have so much more to give out and so much more to learn.

I am a small but a wonderful example of doing something that excites you every morning before going to work. I have no regrets that I gave up the offers from so many MNCs. In fact am glad that I did. If I wouldn't have, I would have been among the 1000s who have no idea about what are they up to sitting on the chair in front of their systems everyday, waiting for 5pm to swipe their way out of office.

I want everyone of us to realize that, each and everyone of us has a gift, we just do not acknowledge it. Sometimes, on some days, you get that gut feeling of leaving everything and chasing what you want, right? But we don't do it due to so many factors!! I say, follow it for a change! I did! Now, its your turn! :-D


267

"Alex wanted to name our baby girl, Sofia", Liz said. She seemed nostalgic. "What do you think,Ana?", she asked, not looking at me but at the padre who was chanting the funeral rites.

"I think its a beautiful name.",I said, holding her hand.I tried not to break down. I did not know how Liz held herself up together. I remembered the day when Alex knocked my doors at midnight just to tell me that he is in love with Elizabeth. We celebrated the rest of night with leftover pizza and cookies. He was the closest to a friend I ever had. He was someone I could share the deepest of my shit-deeds and apprehensions with, without the fear of being judged. I remembered the day I told him about Sammy's ambush-the first time I met him.

"He attacked you! How dare he!", Alex roared in anger.

"Its not that he meant it", I said politely.

"And you're defending him?", he was surprised.

And then when I told him that I love him, he gloated like an ass that he had always known. It was a happy memory. I knew I would miss him a lot.

Alex had been comatose for few hours since he was brought to the hospital. The doctors said he was perfectly normal for about an hour before his death. They say it happens sometimes. Before death, life gives you one chance. None of us were with him when he died. That hurt me more. He left messages for each one of us though. As if he knew it was his time to leave. He told me to take care of Sofia and Liz. And he asked me to trust myself that things will turn out for good.

That made me think of losing Sammy. A shiver ran down my spine exactly then. Even the thought was excruciatingly painful. I turned to look for him. He was right there as he had been since the time we knew about the tragedy. His presence was a help for me and Liz. He comforted me with a nod.

The rites were almost over. Everyone had paid their last respects. Liz's parents took her home. Everyone left. I stood there watching Alex's grave. Sam held my shoulders lightly. "Do you want to stay for sometime more?", I nodded, not looking at him. He left my shoulders and turned to leave, when I held his arm, "Stay with me.", I said, looking at him. "I was not going anywhere", he said, surprised.,

I took his other hand. " Stay with me. Do not leave me.", I said,again.

"I am not going anywhere, Ana. I just thought you would want to be alone with Alex." , he said, holding my shoulders again.

"Sam, Don't leave me like Alex did. I will not survive that", I could not hold my tears back. I wanted him to say that he would not leave me ever.

"I won't", he held my face."I am not going anywhere, Ana and I will be with you, no matter what.", he assured.

I turned back to the grave. "I still can't believe he's no more. Its like tomorrow he would honk his car till I get out of my house screaming at him. But that would not happen now. And Sofia would never know what a wonderful man her father was!"

" Sofia", he mouthed.

"He told Liz he wanted to name her Sofia. Do you know who planted that name in his mind? Few weeks ago, he told me that he and Liz were looking for a name for the baby. And he wanted to know what I thought. I told him, 'Sofia', and he did not think twice. He told Liz he wanted to name the baby Sofia. He did not even tell her that it was me who gave that name. He said when Sofia would grow up, he would tell her that aunt Ana named her. He was going to officially ask you to be the Sofia's god-father", I was rambling in nostalgia.

He held my shoulders tight with his left arm. "Let's go home", I said.

"Do you want to go to the camp?", he asked. I looked at him, "Okay", I said, incoherently.

The ground was unusually less-crowded. The breeze left my cheeks pale with cold. I was feeling a surge of emotions. I sat on the sand. I could see the sun set into the sea. Sam untied my pony-tail. I turned to him wondering what he was up-to. When I was about to ask, he shushed me and told me to concentrate on the sound of the waves and the falling sun. I was too tired to argue so I let him.He squatted behind me and started untangling my hair. His fingers ran through my hair in smooth waves. He, then, to my surprise, started to braid my hair. I turned my head but he would not allow me to. I gave up and watched the rising tides. I rested my arms on my knees. He in a few deft moves braided my waist-length hair. When done, he placed his arms on mine and rested his chin on my shoulder. His legs tracing mine. It looked like I fitted into him completely.

It was not the usual day. It was a day of loss. A huge-irreparable loss. But his presence made me feel good. I could smell him.I tilted my head and my cheeks brushed his unshaven jaw and it hurt. I cringed but he held me tight. I could not move.

"Ana", he breathed into my ears. I did not turn towards him. He went on. " I will never ever leave you. So that you do not worry, I took the shore's job. You do not have to be afraid, love. I will never leave you. But, if something happens to me..", I turned towards him shocked.My eyes were welled in tears.







268

 Malls they are killing me..For every bachelors ever lived,they are the symbol of never ending celibacy...happy couples roaming hand in hand and enjoying each others spoils in a way that will push every single men around into unimaginable depths depressions...even mcflurry and krushers fails to taste good on seeing them......

In my vast experience,there are quite few creatures that frequently roams the wilderness of fashionable malls ...most dangerous of them is undoubtedly "the couple"...From the movies to lifestyle stores their hands on waist moves and happily ever-after mannerisms...will definitely make you jealous..for god sake... "could you freaking keep the hands off each other"....its worse..especially when you come across a girl,who was your classmate years ago with her "whoever she was with"..and yet here I am, stuck with someone which will eventually result in the rumours that I'm gay....

Surviving the couples is tough but then there is the Group... this maybe large or small.The bigger groups are a relief though.They will have someone lovers and many reluctant friends who are bored to hell and thus desperately fending off the temptation to rip off the heads of these pathetic love birds. Believe me I know...Now there is the all girls gang with endless bags of Westside..we gulliable single men... we thinks they will be the one but you are in for a heart break.Observe them for a while and you are bound to find that, they come preloaded with a gang of x y chromosomed losers waiting around with enough territorial aggression to level the entire place......seriously dudes... chill out

So what exactly is single and sober men supposed to do on a boring Sunday afternoon.With no goose to hunt we will eventually end up in this shining glass walled giants.Changing vantage point,like three times on each floor..Checking out things worth five times our pay check and making false promises to come back again ...seriously, how do you even pronounce all those brand names..levi's,crusoe and tony hil-something
All this will definitely make you tired, so have a drink.Sipping an over priced "choco lash" while sitting at the far end of a long table already occupied by celebrating groupies like an uninvited guest..and pretending not to hear them as they pour out their last full measure of heart wide open on public food court table is as painstaking as its gets...
The creatures known as singles men/ women..stick out from the crowd,like moon in a starless night,much to their own dismay.Without anywhere to go,they will seek refuge on service stairs or behind the escalator...where they are bound to come across twisted couples.. freaks ..go get a room !!!
Maybe i'm over reacting but when the highlight of your entire day spent at the mall was seeing a cute and chubby kid running with ice cream falling flat on his head.you are bound to write a self humiliating article.Staring at the retro interior of our dearly overpriced coffee shop,I realized,our life is just the contrary of their tagline " a lot can happen over a coffee" as our life's inadvertently proves over and over again.... "no freaking thing is happening" whatsoever


269

“So, what does your father do? Why did you join the school at this time of the year?” This was the question that my mathematics sir had asked me, after I introduced myself on the first day of my school in my 9th class, which I had joined in the middle of the term.

My father is an Indian Army Officer, serving as Colonel. And the moment I tell this to people, the first thing that flashes across the minds of 90% people is the overflowing free booze, parties every alternate day, huge houses, style, free ration, canteen privilege, travel warrant for 1st class AC, privilege of living in a different place every year, loads of people to work for you, free parking, VIP entries and reservations, amazingly kool uniform with badges, 6-pack, muscles etc.

Actually I did not know that there were people who think this way, until that day, when my mathematics sir retorted, with a sneer on his face complemented with a side smile. “aish hai tumhari phir tho, kyun!! Sab free hai.” I had come across only the type of people who on hearing what my father does put him up on a pedestal their entire lives. But this was different. It was like a moment of revelation for me. I was only in 9th class and at that age I was not able to get over that expression my sir had given in front of 49 students.

I went to my father that evening when he returned from his “get fed to death” physical exercise routine, I crouched down next to him while he untied his shoe with my eyes wide and a very disconcerted expression on my face. That expression was enough for him because he knew there were endless questions brewing up in my mind which I had not been able to figure out myself and that he could not get away without answering them. He was very used to those expressions, still is and knows exactly what he might have to deal with. I questioned him if what my sir said was true. I knew it wasn't but still, at that age I guess I was in that confused state of mind which needed confirmation that what I was thinking was right.

To this my father replied (surprisingly calm, I think he had been through similar situations too already), “People believe only on things that they see or want to see. And that's what your sir also did. In a way he is not wrong because he expressed only what he saw or rather wanted to see. But you know the truth and you are my daughter. Why don't you tell the truth to people about what your father does? It might even motivate people to join the defense services.”

I was just 15, I was smart but not so much that I could actually go up to that sir the next day and argue my points with him. I let it go. But the incident didn't let me go. It stayed with me, and I saw many more of those side sneers till my engineering. Because I was in Hyderabad at that time and it was and still is a popular belief in southern part of India that “only those who do not study well and always want to have fun go into army as they do not have any other option”. FUN!!!! I mean come on guys!! Its Army not a night club!! And the options apparently are engineering, doctor and US. Not much of an option, are they? Pathetic!! It made me angry but I had more of pity for people who thought like that, because it was only due to lack of exposure to things like these.

That was the point when I decided to do something about it, now that I was more intellectually matured and had a better know how of things and how they worked. I took it up as a mission. And here also I am going to do the same.

I am going to tell you only what I have seen and experienced and have been through. And let me tell you that there is a lot more to it than what I tell you but I guess this is enough for those people who do not see or do not want to see the other side.

I am going to tell you how it feels like being an Army Officer's kid. Just be with me for the next part. Will publish it in two days. You will not regret reading it. I promise.

Part 2:

http://pagalguy.com/news/being-army-officers-kid-part-2the-war-a-19122572/



270

Believe it or not common sense in so uncommon. Last Friday I was asked to perform master of ceremony for a CSR event, which was scheduled on next Monday. Well, a CSR event has nothing to do with actual CSR but for those who are new to this acronym - let me impose my understanding upon you. CSR stands for Corporate Social Responsibility; basically a gimmick by most corporates think-tanks to save some taxes in the name of public welfare.

In any CSR event you will find lots of corporate heads, a lot of booze and an orchestra; irrespective of what the tagline at the entry gate says ,you will get to hear this opening monologue - "As responsible citizen of this country ,it is our duty and moral obligation that...", over and over. Some of you must be wondering why booze??? While rest are more tempted than ever to attend any such event from now on. To tell you the truth, booze is there to numb your senses before the local orchestra takes the centre stage and it is needless to say why.

So I was asked to perform master of ceremony for one such event. It was not nothing new; I had my opening speeches ready from last event so I humbly accepted this request. Yes it was a request as I don't drink and definitely not a party animal either. Everything was just fine till a strange order bamboozled me; I was asked to wear my company's corporate tie by my Asset Manager for this event. Our corporate tie is of sunflower yellow colour and I hate it since I had laid my eyes upon it. I tried to come up with excuses for not wearing it but all in vain. Since I had two more days to think of new excuses, I didn't argue much.

Next two days, Sunday & Saturday went like bliss and not even once I had any thoughts about my yellow tie situation. While I was late for Monday Morning Meeting, some wise guy had suggested that our whole department should be dressed in blue. No one objected as this idea was harmless to everyone but me and I wasn't there. On my way to office I received a text saying" You are cordially invited with your family for this-that event and officers are requested to be dressed in blue formal.

Finally it was 6 PM and people started to pour in for the event where we as Team Blue stood for their reception. Some guest kept their views to themselves while others openly laughed at us for wearing the same exact blue. Well, frankly, I too was baffled by the same question, "Who bought these shirts and why". In midst of all this humiliation I conjured up enough strength to pass on my views to the Asset Manager but he was too busy to give a damn about it.

It was time for my opening speech and I had to wear a yellow tie and a black suit over my blue shirt. I took the centre stage and to lighten the mood I tried to crack few subtle jokes in between but the response was too loud. It felt as if crowd was mocking me and probably it was. Then I invited the Chief Guest to address the gathering. He started by thanking one and all for their presence and in the end he added “I would also like to congratulate the team dressed in Blue for this arrangement”. He thought our team was hired by my company HR for taking care of seating arrangements, booze and Orchestra.

Every remark about our dress code made it difficult to bear the next one. While I was praying for an invisible cloak the real tragedy was about to present itself. I came up with a plan to visit the orchestra members backstage in the name of explaining the flow of events for the rest of the evening. As I entered the backstage I saw a beautiful girl practising a song. I, instantly, removed my tie and suit and approached her. I gave her the usual instructions and asked if she had any doubts. While I was at it, she, hesitantly, asked me a few innocent questions “From where did you get this Shirt and Tie??? How much they are paying you for this event??? Don't you know you people are looking like Bandwalas???. I wanted to express myself but instead chose to take a deep breath and moved on...


271

Frankly speaking, it's fun to have your father work for army.

Yes there are amazingly happening parties,

Yes we move a lot,

Yes we have access to lot of “free” stuff and facilities to enjoy,

Yes we have amazing houses which were constructed by the British,

Yes we have gourmet French and British cuisines to gorge on most of the times,

Yes we have a cook, a gardener, a cleaner, and a man for every other category of work we can come up with,

And it's a yes for many more such things.

But there is a glitch.

Imagine living in areas covered with jungles.When we were in Dinjan, a place in Assam, there were literally leopards lurking around at nights. We were living just next to this huge forest sort of area. Generally, these are the type of places we get to go. Places bordering the country. In some places we were not allowed to tell our father's name or any other details to anyone due to fear of terrorism. We were made to practice the false names and occupations of our parents everyday so that we do not blurt out things. I have been through incidents where another officer's family was shot down by ULFA in the middle of the road. Though I have been to almost every state but the places are always so murky and haunting that every place has its own story which has always affected me in one way or another. Now you cannot call it a holiday exactly!! Right?? And still people comment on how we get to travel a lot for “free”.

We kids never get to be with our fathers. In the whole year they are away for at least 8 months. And that is the reason Army takes up the responsibility of the officer's wife and kids. And the months during which fathers are home, they barely show up at home due to night duties, mission planning, court sessions, exercise routines etc.They have no Sundays or Saturdays. There are very few nights when we get to be with them, forget about the day times.

In emergency times like the Kargil war, the situation is unexplainable. It is very difficult to put it in words. I still remember the war. I have never been the same person since then. 1999-that's when the war took place. I was just 10. All I remember is that we were suddenly shifted to my grandmother's place in Bhilai. I was puzzled. For my little brain was used to going to her place only during holidays. I was worried that my teacher would scold me for not attending the school. But there were other pressing issues.

We were shifted by the army. I had not seen my father for a couple of days before that. They were busy arranging and planning things to go to war. But before he left, he called us to be in Bhilai railway station, their train was going to pass from there. I saw my dad only for 5mins and then he left. For next 1 year we had no idea about where he was, what was he doing…was he still alive? The only tiny bits of information we got were from army headquarters which informed us nothing but that they were fine. The secrecy had to be maintained because then families could be tortured for information by the opposite party.

I remember being glued to DD news with my mother all day long, because they were the ones who were constantly reporting about the deaths. I remember my mother, always praying. She never cried in front of us. She never let us feel the seriousness of the situation. I knew she cried alone though. She hardly ate. I still remember many names being read on TV whom I knew and were suddenly no more.

After 6 months we were sent to Meerut. They said that's where our fathers will be coming after the "thing" was over. We waited. I used to stand in front of the huge gate of my house, swinging back and forth on it hoping to see my father walk towards me any moment. But instead of that I saw bodies, being carried to their homes. So many of them, that I forgot to keep a count. Everyday there used to be a procession for those who gave their lives for the country. Though the war had subsided, but still the tension prevailed. Our fathers were still not home.

Only after another 6 months they were back. Unrecognizable. Tormented. Tattered. They had been through a lot, obviously. So what if they were trained to be in such situations. They are still human beings. They had seen so many deaths, that something in them had died. The kindled spirit that he possessed was gone. He was happy to be home but the number of bodies he had seen still haunted him, they still haunt him. And he is not the only one. There were so many like him, who survived the war but couldn't survive its effect on them. The war had drastic and un-repairable effects on these men.

But the horrors of war were not over. There were prisoners of war. And it was country's responsibility to get them back. But the darned politicians. Every other day, there used to be bodies sent home from Pakistan, tortured, with sometimes eyes removed, finger nails pulled off, ears cut off, fingers and toes smashed one by one… all this when the person was still alive. Pathetic. I had not seen them, but my father would discuss it with my mother every night.

My word limit of 1000 is getting over and I have not narrated even 20% of what I wanted to. But I am going to stop here. I just ask one thing though, are we still not worth what we get???