An Anecdote From my Life

Jobs & Careers
169

“What the hell are you saying? Tomorrow our parents are coming to fix our marriage,” I held her.

“We can't marry Abhi. You deserve a better girl.”

“Have you gone mad Meenal?”

She started crying. I tried to console her but her tears didn't stop.

“I bluffed with you Abhi. God will never forgive me,” she said while crying.

“I don't understand anything Meenal. Will you tell me clearly?” I demanded.

She then told me that the first day when I gave her my card, she searched me in Facebook. She found a profile as 'Abhishek Kumar, works at Biocon' then she knew more about me. She also opened the link www.shrijisarees.com given on the Facebook Profile. Therefore, when she learnt that I belonged to a very rich family, she wanted to be friends with me.

And because she knew I was from a big family she lied that she was from MDI and was an Investment Banker so that she could match her status with mine. She was actually working as HR Executive in a consultancy. Now when she realized she was too wrong and didn't deserve me; hence she walked out of my life.

“Do I have to listen anything more?” I said as she finished.

“I am sorry.”

“Now listen to me carefully,” I started telling her a few things, “Firstly you searched a wrong profile on Facebook. That Abhishek Kumar you searched is my friend and his father is a millionaire. My father earns in thousands by making wholesales of sarees. And you thought my flat was mine but it too belongs to Abhishek. I was just living in it. I belong to a middle-class family, Meenal.”

“And because I thought about your status, I hid my identity,” she said.

“Our status is still equal now even when you know the truth,” I said.

“But still I cheated you. We should not marry.”

“I agree that initially your intentions were wrong but then thinking to go away from me; you proved you are still my sweet heart.”

“I love you, Abhi,” She hugged me tightly. Her tears rolled down on my shoulder.

“I love you too for what you are.”

If you like this one then, click here to read another article by me: I love YOU TOO!

170

Abhay, was different, a firm believer in fate. He had a dice, which according to him was gifted by his father when he was six. We thought this was a joke as nobody gives his son a dice in place of a teddy bear. But that was not all, he had also told us that he had bought an ugly orange car just because his dice showed him a 4.

He was the lead guitarist and singer of our college band. As we were preparing the sets for the final event, we heard him arguing with his band members. After further inquiry we learned that he has refused to perform and the reason he gave had something to do with a dice. Within hours, college authorities were informed about this and they came running in their night suits to fix this. But Abhay didn't perform and opening day ceremony was a bust. He was booed by everyone on the campus but he never said anything back.

Today after 4 years I saw him, he was sitting alone on a bench in a park near my workplace. I hesitated for a while but somehow managed the strength to go up to him and ask about his whereabouts all these years. He told me that he teaches in a primary school. I was shocked as he was very good in academics and to imagine him teaching kids was something. I tried to hide my emotions and cracked a joke by asking him whether he had joined as a teacher after throwing his dice. To my surprise he said, yes! It was a 3. I panicked and lost my cool, I said many things to him that I now regret saying.

In reply he said only one thing "have you seen my dice”?

171

Everyone will fall in love, at least for once in their lifetime. Maybe with different persons or things. Maybe at a different age. But everyone one will certainly fall in love. Even I did. That too at a very tender age: the time when I couldn't even pronounce love, let alone spell that.

It all started at the time when “in-a-relationship” fad didn't exist and I was too young to understand the whole thing. In the beginning, I was extremely impressed by her charm. Then slowly, it grew bigger – only as if to draw me in. Our affinity grew up along with us. With each passing day, I was growing fond of her. We used to spend hours together every day, share a lot of memories. And there were hardly a few days passed without meeting her. She would tell me all the fancied stories I could never think of. Even though I didn't wanted to listen, she would still continue with all the stories - most of which I would forget immediately. And she wouldn't mind at all. Things were pretty smooth between us then. But no love story ever would be complete without a few hitches. There are a few here too. Sometimes I avoided her, sometimes she avoided me. I don't know how much my avoiding her hurt her, but hers was really painful to me. But still, I loved spending time with her.

We would meet only once in a day, but when we met we wouldn't leave each other alone - we were literally inseparable. Everyone felt it was cute; after all I was still a kid. They thought my childhood infatuation would soon fade away but they couldn't be more wrong. Once we reached adulthood, she was the only one I would think of most of the time. That's because she would treat me with such love and affection. She would relieve me of all the stress. No matter how tired I was, she took care of me. She would soothe me, caress me, calm me and then relieve me of each quantum of weight I was carrying on with me. The more tired I was, the more I yearned for her, because she would rejuvenate my enervated body. And then she would get me ready for the upcoming hurdles. She was literally the pit-stop for me.

Soon I realized she was not merely an obsession. She was and is my passion and I yearn her the most. This may sound too far-fetched to say that I'm in a lifelong relationship with her. You might as well simply dismiss this statement saying I'm too optimistic. But a fact remains a fact and that fact is we are bonded for this life.

Right now I'm one of the happiest few people on this planet because my childhood love has become the love of my life. And there are no second thoughts in saying that "Sleep" completes me.

[Feedback is always appreciated]

172

Foggy days

dull night

I m on a sabbatical

in hope of a future bright !

The motivation is far from sight

things exactly aren't uptight,

nobody to blame , nobody to fight

grungy looks stubble on

not a beautiful sight !

The sitcoms are not funny enough,

maybe i have raised my standards of viewing,

as exhaustive it maybe , the newspapers still aren't intriguing!

When the going gets tough , the tough gets going,

bloody laziness has creeped in,

i feel like owning a boeing !

My creative side lacks a direction

i wish to channelize this madness

give it another dimension!

The sack of thoughts

is a bit too full

the subset of activeness is unfortunately null

and without an execution

it will be continue to be nothing else but lackadaisical !!!

173

I want to do an MBA.

I am not ready for marriage.

Mom please talk to her parents, they are really eager to marry her soon.

Contradictory, that's what you might think about the above statements. But perceptions can be deceptive! These thoughts emerged from the same egghead, one was heard by everyone and the others by none.

Life has never been easy since I took the decision of doing an MBA, however, the reasons for doing it have changed immensely. As I started to think about MBA, as an average Indian engineer, from an average Indian engineering college, it was purely about money.

“Dude you don't have a future without MBA, this college sucks. Not a single placement drive would take place and soon you would be hopelessly searching for a job!” This was the statement which made me think about MBA seriously.

I won't blame myself entirely for this judgement although. Everybody was doing the same. MBA just seemed like the next logical step.

One of my best friends said, “CAT is not a game. Know your limits and be happy.” This was my motivation statement.

So I was there, winters of 2009 and CAT has gone online, and my decent try fetched me a decent percentile. But not decent enough to materialize anything.

I started job hunting and started working with a BPO firm. Soon I realised that this is not what I want to do and I want to join a real IT company. So I joined one. Motivation helps you in disguise. Though MBA was always at the back of my mind but by now I was more informed about the how and why.

I chalked out a plan, which was very simple: Save money, Get good Work-ex, Give CAT, Complete MBA

Though in the far world of reality someone's parents were really interested in getting their daughter married, and marriage was something that was not in the deepest abyss of my mind.

Totally unaware of the real world conspiracy against me and my MBA plans, and after failing to perform well in CAT for three straight years, I chalked out a new plan: Save money, Give GMAT, Complete MBA

But soon the real world knocked my head pretty hard, all the walls of QA|VA|LR|DI fell down and the roof of MBA was blown away.

Life changed and nothing remained simple. Even my MBA plans became more complex than the Einstein's equations. Nothing would just seem fit. Savings were eroded, GMAT seemed to be a future story (a future story is a lullaby that you sing to yourself before sleeping every night).

But all this brought a change in me, it made me look at life with a new attitude and forced me to be more practical and realistic about my goals. Taught me how to be an achiever from a day dreamer. I am now more determined to do my MBA, and have a zillion more reasons to do it.

174

(Prologue: This poem was written during my final year of Engineering. That too between the phase of placement season and semester exams. I hope engineering students can relate to it.)

So many thoughts, so many plans,

But when I get hold of a pen, my mind goes blank.

It's been a long time that I always wished to write,

But it looked like as if I had a long & tough fight.

I've always been pouring out my heart against the mirror,

But when it comes to writing, my laziness would be in fear.

But today, even if there's an exam tomorrow,

I got hold of the pen, to write all the joys & sorrow,

Life is tough; it makes us work hard,

The only key to win it is to never fall apart.

Hard work with a little bit of luck is the secret to winning,

But totally depending upon the luck will make your life spinning.

Too many options, so many Choices,

I am totally confused with so many voices.

Everyone out here has so many suggestions,

And my inner voice is now filled with confusion.

I don't know what I want from life,

But a small loving family with a caring wife,

The future plans are against the present conditions,

This is the reason that I am scared to take any decisions.

Don't know which decision would lead me where,

Sometimes out of frustration, I wish I didn't care.

But boy, it's my life, if I don't care then who will,

If I sit around like this, all I will be left with is nil.

All I know is that, I want to be a 'Big Man' with a good status,

And also a man of character, whose heart is the greatest.

A man who owns the place when he arrives,

A man who fills the atmosphere with his positive vibes.

Only God knows what's life has in store,

I just wish that in Life, I never get bore.

Will now end this 'random piece of writing' abruptly,

But with a hope that I will soon be writing such pieces regularly.

175

This Story is about Risk, Take risk. Risk gives more profit. My half life has ended in school, college, Post grad and books. I am so fed up of studies that sometimes I think I should have followed my heart when I was in my 6th Grade.

I was a keen designer. I made my first outfit at the age of 11 it was made out of my blue silk gown. It took me 12 hours to design , cut and stitch. Everyone appreciated my work. I wore it many times. The next stitching exercise took place soon after and this time I made my 1st capri from the old jeans of my brother. I made small tiny dresses for my doll. It became a passion for me. I started designing jewellery for my doll and for my self. I loved crafting décors a homework from S.U.P.W classes. I knew I loved crafting , designing and experimenting.

I never followed what I loved. I was a mediocre student at school. I left science after my 12th after learning that I will fail in Engineering because I can't understand the way the tutors teach. I regret what I have done. The irony is that I loved marketing and I was studying finance. I always say I am destine and I am scared what my destiny has in it.

In school days I had freedom to see the weirdest dreams . I wish I could make it real. I wanted to run away from my home because I was sure that I would fail in Maths AGAIN. I planned everything out. Cash, place to go, transport to take, tickets and how I will survive for so many years. I planned to run to Chandigarh and start my own boutique. I planned everything how to start with scratches to making a brand in the market. How I will progress in 5 years.

All these seems weird but imagine if it was true and I really would have managed to start my business. Wow! How different my life would have been then. But I was scared of taking risk . I did not wanted to go out of way and do something which involved immense risk. But my destiny has something else. I am studying PG and looking forward to a 9 to 6 job. I stay with my parents who question me about my future and that gives me the chills.

I can't go back to my childhood to correct my mistakes. I tried to learn sewing twice but I failed to join the course. Now after investing so much of time and money in MBA I can't scrap what I have learned. I have to move on now. I have to thrive on whatever is disposed in my way. I wish I had taken the risk.

176

I don't intend to boast about anything, this is just my experience.

Music as perceived by many, is a rhythmic, melodious composition of musical notes. For many years, even I connected with music in the same way. I would listen to a song and I would like it only if the singer qualified for my personal criterion of “My Favorite Singer” and also if the song was catchy. My perception of music changed when I listened to a randomly chosen song at my uncle's place using his headphones. All I can recollect is that I could hear every musical instrument being played in that song! I was amazed! A new curiosity had emerged in me. I wanted to listen to every song with such detail! I identified several unheeded beats, strums and tunes in a song. Sometimes it occurred just once in the middle of a song! But I waited to hear it (Try it. It's fun!)

And so a year passed and I developed a lot of interest in music. I even went to a crash course in guitar, (Although I did not master it. Read my article "Strings and Frets"). And then I wanted to compose my own song. I know I had started dreaming big without knowing the A, B, C of music. But I badly wanted to compose a song which had a meaning in it. Which is not just catchy, but which can match up with the songs sung by international artists. So then I set of on the task of composing a tune for my first song. I did this while carrying out my daily tasks, humming a tune, trying to find out if it matched with any of the songs that I know of. One day, while washing my clothes, I found a melodious tune(that's what I think of it). I noted down the tune i.e take a guitar, play the tune and note down on which string and fret of the guitar it is played. Well this is how I write down my compositions.

So now I had a composition. All I needed is the lyrics for the song and then my song would be complete, or so I thought. I sat down one day and wrote a story. It took me quite a while to convert that story to decent lyrics. I named the song “Love Untold”. Now everything was ready. I had to only record the song and then I would upload it on YouTube, get a million hits, become an international superstar and play golf with Hollywood celebrities. But there was something missing. Something that made me to not record it in a professional studio. It was the zeal to materialize my composition.

Three years passed, I graduated, got 1 year work experience but I had still not recorded the song. The lyrics had undergone several modifications. My excuse was that I had no musical background and dint know where to record a song. Two of my friends motivated me to record the song. One by saying that it will top the Billboard charts and the other by giving me the push to "google" recording studios at where I reside. So Google searched a recording studio for me. I was a bit hesitant to approach the studio manager. What if he says that he doesn't cater to such foolish requests like recording just one song. I feared I will be embarrassed if he/she asks me any details about the composition that only trained musicians can explain. I thought they will laugh at the lyrics that I had written.

177

I was hesitant to record my first composition. But I did not want to regret not having tried. So I ended up at a recording studio after convincing my family that I was on my way to stardom. I showed a sample composition of my song I had created using a computer software. Unbelievably, he heard the entire 2 minute composition! And then he told me to sing the song with the lyrics. I was ready for him to smile at me when he heard the lyrics. But he did not. He listened intently and carefully. He then gave me a date to record the song. And from that day till the day of the recording I persuaded my friend to listen to me singing the song everyday and correct me if I would go wrong in the pronunciation or tune. I practiced the song as much as I could. Then came the day of the recording. I was very nervous. I met the studio manager. He had already composed the background score. Blasting from the speakers in the sound proof room, it sounded fabulous! I stepped into the live room where there was a microphone which looked more like a gadget from the future. I put on the headphones and after the recording manager instructed me by counting 3 on his fingers, I sang the first verse of the song. The first verse was over and then I got to hear myself. I was surprised at the quality of the recording. In the next 2 hours we mixed the song with the background score and a bit of technical mastering and mixing gave the final touches to the song.

I uploaded it on YouTube and waited for stardom to approach me. Well, it did not. And that was not my intention. I had materialized my dream of composing a song. Music is not just about sounds emanating from a speaker or from musical instruments. It is about emotions being told by someone. It tells you a story, an idea within someone's mind. From this experience I learned that a simple excuse in life can make you miss a lot of targets. If you dream something, then you better start materializing that dream. Stop giving any excuse. Do not wait for the right time. Every day is a good day to start anything good. I may not have achieved something great. I may have not matched up at all with the songs sung by international artists, but I am content with the smiles that I see on anyone's face when they listen to my song. Your dream can be achieved, it can be made real, but not with just your efforts, it needs the efforts from your near and dear ones to motivate you to achieve it. It needs the help of strangers who are willing to help you in your journey. Be humble, accept that you cannot achieve everything on your own in this world and live your dream.

178

On this serene lovely night ... Under the moons shimmering light ... Thoughts come and shine with your face all bright ... I write and write and write , bathing in the moment's delight ... Eyes all open and Lights all out ... Flashes of memories and traces of love which is not in sight ... Tears drip slowly with different shades of plight ... Singing the score, dancing in the dim light ... Your face resurfaces with the memories of such nights... Heart cries out to reach you, pushing the darkness aside ... Alas, the Voice fades out within the void inside ... I dare not call your name aloud ... I dare not scream my Love... Cause seek I shall you in another time... and make you all mine ... I write and write and write bathing in the moment's delight ... I cast a spell and hid them so deep below... I Shall not cry those tears out , I shall not take thy name... Cause I know this darkness shall steal those memorie's fame... thus I ride along with the resistance and ... So I write and write and write bathing in the moment's delight ... This joy in the pain of remembrance ... This light in the darkness aloof ... I stand here looking at the sky... Knowing this shall also pass by ... and So I write and write and write bathing in the moment's delight ...

180

It is that time of the year when Mumbai will stand on its feet with the Standard Chartered Mumbai Marathon scheduled on 19th Jan. This has brought back memories of me participating in the 2011 edition, a sense of nostalgia.

I had just passed out my engineering in 2010 and joined a firm where there was a selection round to deem fit enough employees to participate in the race. I was nervous but I came through the selection round. All the selected employees were given an option to participate either in the Dream run or the Half Marathon, I choose the latter. No one was allowed to compete in the full marathon as it was only for athletes. Due to time constraints and the fact that I had never participated in a marathon event made me nervous but at the same time determined to do well. I came to know that only if one completes the race within 3 hours will be honored with a certificate which instilled in me a sense of drive and fortitude to finish in the stipulated time.

I started my preparation by running only on weekends but as the D-Day neared I started running on alternate days somehow managing my work. During these 3 months, only once I ran the entire race and my timing was around 2hrs 45 mins which was reasonable.

The moment finally arrived. I remember getting up at 04:30 in the morning and taking a cab up till the MMRDA ground in Bandra where all the participants had been asked to assemble. I observed people doing all sorts of stretching and exercise with all sorts of accessories which made me feel a bit inferior.

Finally the race started at 06:00 am with thousands of people pushing and shoving each other clamoring for space to run ahead due to the mob. I finally managed to pull myself out of the mess and started running with room ahead. It was a scenery to behold running on the astonishing sea-link.

The experience was of one of the most memorable moments in my life; Mumbai was on its feet. The enthusiasm and love shown by each and every Mumbaikar on the street was spellbinding. We were being distributed with biscuits, juices, fruits, water on the way by people unknown to us. I could then relate to the amazing vibe and confidence which the sportsmen imbibe when playing in front of a massive crowd.

I was battered and bruised at the end of the race. I was bed-ridden for a week as I had exerted a bit too much in the race. But, it didn't matter as the end result of finishing the event in better than expected time of 2:12:37 and finishing in the top 1000 made me feel accomplished. The most important learning from the event was that the will to succeed is important but what's more important is the will to prepare.

181

Once upon a time there was a bright kid who dared to aim high. Being a school topper and a University rank holder it was the next big goal she was sure she could achieve. She was full of confidence and believed that she could achieve whatever she wanted to in life.

Till yesterday that is. India's revered management aptitude exam's results have hit her like a ton of bricks. CAT 2013 turned out to be a disaster. I have never been too good at a subject like Quants but a 22 percentile is a pretty shocking result considering I had honestly put in efforts to improve this weak area of mine. The pretty decent VA score might act as an analgesic but the wounds that the other section has given me will surely take some time to heal.

But you know what dear CAT? Its fine. No excuses. No foul crying. Maybe I got what you think I deserved this time. But it is not over yet. Not that I am considering giving another shot at you but because I am going to prove how awesome a candidate you have missed. I might not have landed up in the 'Red Building of Dreams' I aspired to get into but I will choose my path and build on it the dreams I have always had. One entrance test can neither define me nor can it stop me from achieving my aim. I gave up the placement opportunity I had just to pursue you. And now I will make sure that you regret rejecting me. I will now go with my Plan B which I had fortunately chalked out after coming across the past experiences of aspirants that run after you and will take up the government banking exam I have just cleared.

Even when I type this, I can feel my heart a little heavy while receiving mails from my coaching centre being sure that I must have scored really well. I have no idea how I will visit my centre for my GD/PI preparations feeling awkward when other students announce their 90 percentiles but I promise that I will keep my head held high and build my future as bright as I deserve it to be by putting in all the efforts I can.

With this article I end my rendezvous with you. I will settle the scores with you very soon. I will derive all the motivation I need from my inner self and exude so much positiveness that all that is due to me by destiny will reach me soon. This is not revenge. But, it is a battle yet to be won.

I am not a quitter. Have never been. Will never be. The formulae sheets pasted on my book shelf might have been taken down. But my poem that keeps me strong will always stay.

The battle is not over my dear. Because I am yet to emerge as the winner...

182

First, let me introduce myself how premier institutions of India such as IIM's identify. I am an average unreserved male engineer. And yes my CAT'13 was a fiasco. All the tags only lessen my chances of getting into these premier institutes of India. No female diversity points. No graduation diversity points. No reservation. And above all these I am an average guy to score too high. I was deeply considering blaming something or the other and contemplating whom to blame for this mediocre score of mine. Is it the Reservation policy of India or my schooling or my thought process or any other super power for that matter? Upon introspection, I realized each and every factor played its part and that super power called 'luck' is no exception.

This fiasco reminds me of an incident happened in my 12th standard. Let me narrate. Reservation policy of India, - if at all, would come into picture only after you attempt the competitive exam. But it had affected me and few of my friends well 7 months before IIT-JEE (2007). Our principal announced that there would be a shuffling test and students will be allotted sections based on the rank secured in the test. The best lecturers (IIT) of the college would only manage two sections per day. And they obviously preferred Section 1 & 2. All the remaining sections (3, 4, and 5) were taught just EAMCET or Board exams despite the fact that the students enrolled themselves in the IIT program. After the ranking I was allotted Section 2. All the students who were eligible under reservation policy were allotted Section 3. Our principal had asked the lecturers to manage Section 1 & 3. We felt rejected. Few of us went to ask the principal of his biased decision. He was persistently backing himself and also confirmed that he would continue with the same. When we resisted he questioned us - "Do you have reservation certificates? Get the certificates and then will see. Else get lost." He even threatened to beat us. We were born that way. How could one change his caste anyway? I missed the IIT-JEE with a slight margin and never thought of studying for an another year as the decision of OBC-NC reservation was in the background then. And that was a disturbing 27.5% and was implemented next year.

Forward to 2013, after two years of dedicated CAT preparation, I feel the premier Indian institutes are never for me. This is the truth and I have realized it very lately. I have a question to the Government of India. Why a student, who secured a seat in an IIT or a reputed government institution by availing reservation, can again avail reservation in Post graduation? And not to forget that his descendants are eligible too. Don't you think the system is being exploited? Anyway let's not get into politics. That's even worse than CAT.

P.S.: Not to hurt anyone.

183

My CAT results came 2 days back. A day which ended happily for many, pushed me into a tenebrous abyss. I cried, I shrieked, I tortured myself.Accepting it was difficult. Between me and what I am, stood that what I wanted to be.I had marooned myself to seclusion form every thing. Today morning, I got a call from my father. He told me a small story; the story that I want to share with you all.

" Once upon a time , in one of his hunting expeditions , a 'mahaout'(Elephant tamer) caught an elephant calf. He brought the calf to his camp and tied him to a post with a strong jute rope. The calf was timid, but playful. He tried to break free. He hustled and rustled, veered left and right, but to no avail. He was too weak, too puerile and the jute rope , too strong for him.Days passed and the calf kept trying to break free. The rope lacerated his legs, but could chain only his body, not the spirit that kept him trying. But one fine day, he understood that the rope could not be done away with, he would always be weak and the rope; always strong. He lay there shackled to the post. Years passed, and he grew into a handsome ginormous beast. Tusks those stood at 15 feet, too regal a creature he had become.He now possessed the might to move scores of logs and uproot tree trunks at his whim. But still, every night after work, he was brought back and tied to the same jute rope. The years had made the beast strong and worn out the rope. Still, he never tried to break free. The rope that held him by his his feet long back, now held his spirit.The withered rope still stood strong even after years , incarcerating his soul, his might , his zeal. The mighty beast stood helpless even after years, servile ,helpless ,unable to heal. He never ever tried to free himself, and the rope never gave away..."

Life would always be tough, people would try to mock,to lock you down. But, never in life, should you allow something to chain your soul. For the chains those hold your feet could be broken, but those that lock your spirit would never set you free.

184

December 2005. I had just given what would later be termed as the zaniest written CAT ever, and was working as a temp with a marketing & event agency. College mates recommended me to a website that discussed MBA related stuff, as I was hunting for data all the time. I brushed it off as another online data repository, from which mining ANY information from which would be painful.

Early January after CAT results, we were waiting for other exams' results to be out - SNAP, XAT et al - when a colleague introduced me to this world, named PaGaLGuY.com. And I was hooked. Delayed entry truly - I missed the whole prep & exam season, entering during result season - but the hook dug deep. I joined as many discussions as I could, SIBM, MICA, bschools I had applied to, Chit Chat, everything. Back then, Myspace et al didn't exist in India. Orkut was invite-only, yet to blast off. Nobody knew what Facebook was. PG was the only social network a lot of us had, technically. But it worked. We cried together, enjoyed together. We prepared for MBA together. We partied together. We commisserated, shared anecdotes, and learnt together. We prepared for life together.

My digital footprint has changed only recently. If you hunted for 'Harshal Modi' or 'Grondmaster' as late as 2011, you'd be shocked to see how many pages from PG showed up on Google. In the later years, you'll see my LinkedIn and Twitter profiles and the lot first, but PG stands tall even today.

I have absorbed PG so well into my life that my parents have a separate category of my friends: School friends, College Friends, MBA friends, Pagalguy friends. And everyone else I've ever met online - FB, Twitter, LinkedIn et al - gets ghettoed into 'Internet friends'. A fair part of my life would suddenly find itself blank, in a hole, were PG to disappear from the face of the earth.

Today, I complete 8 years on this wonderful platform. In these 8 years, I have made friends who are today my closest, I have made enemies whom we reconciled with later. I have acted as a counsellor advising youngsters on their paths of life - which bschool to choose, what to do there - as long as I had experienced it in the past. I have seen couples get together after meeting on PG (at one point there were so many couples around that we were hinting the PGHQ start a dating service to make matchmaking official) and break off as well. I have attended weddings of PG friends, crashed their homes, visited them at work, worked with them, lived through accidents and their aftermath, done everything that friends do, and more, no matter where they are from.

I can say this with ease: my mother, teachers and bosses may say otherwise, but I've never wasted a moment of time I spent on PG. I would have done nothing else. Period.

185

There are moments in life when we feel low,

There are those who can't even take the blow,

But, there are some who can make it flow,

With only one attribute and that is "Hope"


Hope gives you the reason to live,

Hope gives you the reason to forgive,

Hope is the thing that keeps you alive,

Hope is the reason for a being to strive


Hope makes a loser feel like a real man,

When he understands that life's not just an empty can,

Hope is the thing that makes you smile,

Even when you can't even stand for a while


Hope changes the attitude in your life,

Even when there is nothing but the cry for help,

When you fall down and rise again and again,

It gives you the strength to sustain the pain


There are times when you are lonely,

In the darkest hours when the fate doesn't seem friendly,

Be your own captain and the master of your soul,

Try to make things fine when you can't even crawl


Things would be better after some time,

Just keep up your spirits and keep moving on,

There are difficult times when you feel bad,

But always remember to rise up instead


So in the end only few lines,

Just chill out and wait for the best times,

Time will pass and your wounds would heal,

Be a man and live life with an absolute feel...

186

Most of the time, when we're doing something wrong, however, no one stops us; but our eternal soul never loses the chance to warn us, to take us back to the righteous path... But what can we rate to ourselves, who always pretend and claim to be so elite...

The truth is that, we're so coward and covered with our cheap thoughts that we're not even ready to hear a single word of our heart and soul... Here, I would like to mention that "MIND" & "HEART and SOUL" are two different things... On one hand, where the first drags us to may be right or wrong both; on the other hand, the latter one is the second God with us which always warn us towards our deeds...But, "Hale to US", we are so capable that we most of the time ignore the poor voice of it...And when the dooms days come, we are left nothing but repent only...Can we not be alert and be good and sacred from the very beginning...

To be honest, we all have been sent on this earth with the same thoughts and culture... But over the period of time, we ourselves make us covered with ash on our soul and the that poor and helpless keeps on mourning to be uncovered... Friends! there is a need to blow those ashes and there is an urge to let the inner flame be glower and glower...

This time, we all are a BURNING COAL WITH ASHES...and are needed to be glowed with eternity, goodness and sacredness...

On this sacred festival of colours, let's take an oath together to encolour our body and soul with the colours of sacredness, so that we, in real mean, may be the lovable children of that Almighty...only then this holi can be HOLI...

Let's embrace one good trait everyday and remove one evil from whithin us daily...let's make this our habit...

What do you think? What do you reckon with...

to be continued.....

187

You know you're growing up when your friends start dating and having boyfriends or girlfriends or both (rolling my eyes), sneaking out to theatres (on the pretext of God knows what!), texting whole night (I mean, Whatsapping! Hike-ing! Kik-ing!) and you know the rest(rolling eyes again).

Well, sometimes I felt as if only my friends grew up, I was right there- friend-zoned or friend-zoning the ones who looked like approaching impediments. I stayed away. People stay away. Afraid to explore themselves in ways they have never before. I was one of them until I met him. "Being swept away" would be the word that can put it in the best way.

I would not speak at social gatherings. I had nothing to say. All I opened the mouth was to talk about politics and Indian economy and the kind. The GD/PI thing.I was busy aiming IIMs and XLRIs. Who has the time for love,anyway? I rolled my eyes thinking about how I fell in to the trap and acquiesced to attend the formal party. But the regret soon meta-morphed itself into something beautiful.

I would not deny my heart was pacing when I saw the perfect posture and the way he was carrying himself. If I were not so thrifty in shelling out compliments, I would say he was an eye-candy. The kind you want to stare at in a crowd of people. The one who stands out to you. I was busy drawing conclusions on the perfect man standing few feet away from me, talking to people. I looked around to check if someone watched me watching him. Seemed like no one thought the way I did. Back to Ken-doll. "Oh! I lost him ", I sighed, and turned around rolling my eyes again when I found the stunning man standing right in front of me. Eyes locked, he smiled. I froze."God! Screw the IIMs", my inner Goddess shouted at me.

Words evaded me. My heart paced at I-don't-know bps(beats per second). Who was thinking about Quant anyway! I stared. He looked plain and handsome. I wished I would say something but then I kept quiet. I was sinking him all in. All of him. Somehow I wished time would freeze. "Okay, I am the stupid MBA aspirant. Whats wrong with you,boy? Speak", my facial expressions betrayed me and his lips parted finally to speak.

~Part 2:

http://www.pagalguy.com/news/confrontation-a-18644755/

188

There he was. His eyes were grey,sharp and focused. They were fixated on mine. I did not blink. Well, I could not. I was dazed. I wondered if he is what they call the knight in the shining armor? For the first time I wanted to be nothing more but that stupid silly girl dazed by her man. He was about to speak. I was stunned. He stunned me. "Not fair!", I wanted to yell. I wasn't the crude ambitious girl anymore. Atleast not now. Not when I could see his collar bone right through the unbuttoned part of his shirt, the perfectly chiseled face with a body that most-suited it and I could hear my heart go bummer in my ears.

"I could not help but notice that you were checking me out.", he said. His brows made an arch right at the middle. "He said something, stupid! Use your tongue.", yelled my inner Goddess. "I..ummm", was all I could manage. I felt helpless. I wanted to hide somewhere from where I could watch him and not the other way around. What was I supposed to say? The truth would have sounded a tad hot and so embarrassing. I might have looked puzzled. My eyes never left his. I wanted to run in the opposite direction. Sweat it out. I was wondering. He was still looking at me, expecting a reply perhaps. It was then he held my arm at the elbow and pulled me closer, so much that my palm involuntarily rested on his chest for support.

I looked up at him.( I am short :/)It must be the push or the commotion that played the kill-joy. "Oh! I don't think so! ",I sounded brutal.The daze broke. I was myself again. It seemed like I killed everything that would have been a wonderful love story. He looked plain, yet again. I looked at him, his eyes were already on mine. I broke the gaze and walked away. A few feet away from where he stood, I turned and he was not there. I looked around and he was no where. My heart sank. Tears welled up my eyes. I did not understand that, frankly.

I looked around but in-vain. It was about time. I had to leave. I wanted to see him. I felt a shiver in my body. I could not understand the feeling. It was intense. I looked around subtly. Seems, luck does not favor you twice! There was something about him. But it was ephemeral. I wished it lasted for some more time. I was not done watching him. May be he was my knight in shining armor. "Oh! Please. Just one more time", I mouthed.

~Part 3:

http://www.pagalguy.com/news/dating-sailor-3-a-18648395/

189

I walked down the stairs to the road that lead to the Parking lot. My thoughts were occupied. "Dude('Dudette' always felt like a hiccup), get over him! You've an impending situation in hand. You've worked your ass off for this! Don't spoil this over a GUY! Strike that. An incredibly hot and handsome guy! ", I told myself. "Some random stunning guy!", I told myself again,"who walked up to you to talk", I added to myself. My brows narrowed,"This was never going to work anyway! Why am I even thinking about him?", I told my inner goddess who was apparently mad at me for scaring him away. "Scaring him away??...Yeah I guess.", I sighed and opened my car's door.

Right when I was about to get in I was pulled back and pinned to my own freaking cold car. My arms were held tight, close to my body,against the car's window shield. It was hurting and cold. I was scared. It was him. Just as realization struck me, he freed the grip on my arms. "What the hell!", I snapped at him. "Dont. Walk. Away.", he said through gritted teeth,pausing after every word. "Don't. Please.", he added, his fury not having subsided. His eyes were sharp and his hands left marks on my arms. I could not believe his audacity. Anger bursting through my eyes and I could not speak though I wanted to. I did not know what to say.

I looked around seeking help. He was obviously some maniac or may be a rapist. I fringed at the thought. "God! Why do you always land yourself into such troubles!", I sighed to myself. I started clearing my throat so that I could yell if he shows any advancement. He stood a feet away from me, watching me as I recollected myself. "PO1! ", I heard a sharp voice from few feet afar. He stepped away. He was walking away. Not even once did he turn back. "Why would you do this?", I wanted to know. I paused. He turned to me and said, "Its Sam!". "Okay. Sam?", I waited. But he just walked away.

"No answers! How convenient! Walk away.That's the best you know! ", I snarled at him. I was scared though. I wondered where the gumption came from. "How freaking convenient!" , I yelled to myself. I got into my car and drove back home. This has never happened to me. What do you do when something like this happens? "You stay away", I told myself. I heaved a sigh. "Do I tell my folks about it?", I wondered. I decided not to worry them. "What's PO1 anyway? Some kind of a terrorist-code? or a rapist lingo?", I wondered.

"Freaking attacker!", I shriveled at the thought. "Sam". I was calm again.

~Part 4:

http://www.pagalguy.com/news/dating-sailor-4-void-a-18650791/