An Anecdote From my Life

Jobs & Careers
210

Nathan and Sam were having a really great time. I wondered if I was the unwanted one now. I strode into the kitchen. I tried to conjure up pasta somehow. Sam came in.

"You don't have to do this. Nathan is over-bearing at times.", I said.

"Oh! No! Nathan's a good kid. Smart and he is a dude! Accept it, Ana!", Sam winked at me. I was shocked. Since when did Sam wink? He tasted the pasta and said, "Move!". I obeyed. He took over the kitchen. I stood there watching as he cooked. Watching him cook was something I missed badly. He rolled up his sleeve. He looked worked-out. His shirt had creases. It must be Nathan. I was thinking to myself. Sam did not look at me. He looked happy and weird. And inviting.That was driving me nuts there. I decided to leave the room. I turned to leave.

"Oh so now you can't stand me in a room?",he said, not looking at me, sauteing the onions in the pan.

"No! Its that..Umm..I should go and check up on Nathan. Its that and nothing else". Not your hot-'hawt' presence driving me crazy, I told myself.

"The boy's good.He's got much grey matter up there for his age.", he said, not looking at me again.

"I am sorry,Sam, I don't think I will be able to make it with you to the celebration. And you should go! You'll be late.", I said, looking down.

"Let the kid come with us", he said.He put the pan off the stove and turned to me.

"Nathan can't come. okay? I am sorry.", I said.

"Stop saying sorry.", he said.There was no expression on his face.

"What?", I asked puzzled.

"You're sorry that you love me. You're sorry that you can't accept that you love me. You're sorry that you do not allow me to love you. You're sorry for yourself because you still...", he did not complete the line.

"Please go. You'll be late. Its a big day. I don't want to ruin it for you. Please", I begged.

"You mean after you ruined everything else for me?", he said. I could see the pain now.

"Sam! You said this was not you trying to fix things between us.", I defended.

"Does it look so? Or does it look like you can't take the guilt anymore?", he asked me. Not even blinking once.

"Don't do this. Don't.", I pleaded.

"I am trying here, Ana. The question is, are you?", he asked.

"Okay. Stop right there. Today is not about us. Its about you. I can't join you but I can let you go and have your big moments", I said.

"You make my moments beautiful. You took that from me. Now this is what, a compensation?", he asked.

The words hurt me.

211

I heard a knock. I left him unanswered. It was Nathan's baby-sitter.

"Hey!", I greeted her.

"Nathan's parents said that he'd be here and they told me to tell you that they'll be home by 11 and I am supposed to be here till then!", I blushed when I heard that.

"Sure. He is inside. Make yourself comfortable.", I said, ushering her in. "Do you mind if I am away for sometime?", I asked her. She said it would be okay.

"Who wants to eat hot delicious pasta?", Sammy said in a sing-song tone. Nathan was already over him. Seemed they had grown fond of each other. He fed Nathan himself. I watched them. I walked up to Nathan(and Sam) and said, "Nate, Ana and Sam are going out to the hospital, so you be a good boy here okay?", Nathan nodded munching the pasta." If you need anything, you can call me okay?", I said to the girl.I looked at Sam. He nodded."Nate, I am gonna miss you,man!", Sam said. They hugged.

Sam held out his hand. I was taken aback. I did not expect this after the outburst we had few minutes ago. I took his hand.

"Umm, Sammy, there's a problem?", I said.

"What is that?", he asked, worriedly.

"I have never danced except in private!", I mumbled, fidgeting the helm of my dress.

"I can help you with that. You don't have to worry", I smiled.

"And one more thing?", I said."I am starving!", I added.He laughed and like usual he leaned in to kiss me, just then it stuck him and he froze! It was awkward. He was so near. I could hear him breathe. I wanted to reach up to him and kiss him.But I held myself. I looked away."We should go!",I said.

On the way he told me about the traditional dance where the patner's body never touched and it was beautiful to hear. I watched him as much as I could. I did not know if I could have this moment again. The felicitation ceremony was awe-inspiring. Men in uniforms walked upto the aisle and were conferred with medals. Sammy was one of them. It was a proud moment for him. For me. If we were together, the joy would have been so pure and limitless. I felt shackled. When he walked back from the aisle, I walked up to him, rested my palm on his chest. I felt proud. I smiled and looked up to him. "You deserved this!I am happy for you", I said. He held my hand which was on him, and he held my face with the other and said, "Thank you for being there for me.". Our eyes met and spoke more than what our lips did. I withdrew my hand.The gaze broke.

"All the Officers and their beautiful ladies are requested on the dance floor."

212

We rocked the dance. It was not as hard as it seemed. Sammy was an amazing dancer and I was flaunting him on the dance-floor, much to the envy of others. I was enjoying the attention. The brunette in red watched us constantly. Actually her eyes were on Sam. Sammy's eyes were on me and mine on him. The hardest part in the dance was to-not touch.

We were exhausted as we laughed our way off the dance-floor.In the commotion I lost my balance, I clutched his suit. He dropped his drink and held me by the waist. I balanced myself. Our eyes locked and the laughter subsided. We were breathing hard and were in sweats. He did not take his hands off my waist. I knew I would not be able to hold it longer. "I miss you, Ana", he said. "I miss you so much and I wish things were different here", he added. His eyes were teary but they disappeared soon.

"I know", I said and stepped away from him. A moment -that was all I needed. I turned around. Screw everything. I clutched his suit back and pulled him towards me , went on my toes and kissed him, my one hand still clutching his suit and the other tracing my fingers through his jaws. He held me close by the waist and in few seconds, I could hear the crowd cheering. OMFG! We broke our kiss and just held each other in a warm hug.

Still in the hug, "I missed you too. I missed you so much. I tried hard to remember the last time we kissed and I could not. I felt terrible,Sammy that I could not.", I said into his ears.

He tilted his head, kissed my hair, just above the ear and said into my ears, "It was a normal day. We met at the deck and you were in a hurry and you had folks coming at your place. So it was quick. You said sorry and showered me with a lot of pecks all over my face. I just stood there taking in your love. It was special. Hurried but special. You were in a hoodie- and you smelled of some flower-I don't know which. That was the last time we kissed.", he said moving a strand of my hair behind the ear and kissing my ears.

"I remember it now. You waited long and I was late and still leaving you even after the wait.And I think it was the lavender.It was my new conditioner." I smiled. "I am sorry, Sammy. I am sorry that I hurt you", I said.

"Hey! don't be. It's not even close to what you went through. I know. But sometimes we need to face the things just the way it is. That's just how it is! ",he said.

" For now, let me just breathe and feel you.", he added.

213

"Ana, I am so deeply,deeply....deeply sorry that I hurt you so much. I am so sorry because I am so in love with you and I will spend the rest of my life telling you that. I will apologize to you everyday if that's what you need, but please, please do not ever walk away from me again. This might be news to you but you kill me when you walk away, so don't do that again.You are not the only one in this relationship. Its the two of us. So, you do not get to walk away. I will not survive that and I will not forgive you for that if ,if you do it again, if you think of separating yourself from me! Because I have loved you since the day I saw you, even before you saw me. The day you were staring outside the window of your car! I fell in love with you when I saw your eyes. Every part of me fell in love with you though you did not see me then. I love you in every way I can. Just tell me, you won't walk away from me because I might not live that the next time.This might sound crazy but I am so so in love with you and I will continue to do that. And if you think I am giving you an ultimatum, I am, do you hear that?", Sam said into my ears. I held him tight, listening.

"yes...I am not walking away ever.I understand that I am not walking away from someone who loves me so much, to not give up on me. I am glad you love me though.." , I said in his ears.

"No buts and no thoughs, its simple and let's just keep it simple. And you're standing on my feet!",he said in my ears.

"Yes, I love you too,wait, what?", We parted from each other. We had been glued to each other since a long time. We bursted out laughing like idiots.

"Hmmm..Omg! Huh! So what now?",I asked my arms were wrapped around his neck.

"Now...Ummm..I am gonna stay like this until our legs give out.", he said picking me up , removing my heels and making me stand on his feet.

"Sounds like a plan.Umm...So Sammy, tell me the whole story", I said.

"What story?",he asked,puzzled.

"You never told the before part. You never told me that.", I said.

"Oh, that! I was waiting for an appropriate time", he said, kissing my forehead.

"What time? Me leaving you?", I asked.

"No! I don't know. Just the right time. Did I tell you, you look amazing today? ", he said.

"Not really. You were busy berating me and trying to pout!", I said, making a face.

"Aha! Well it worked. Didn't it?", he asked.

"Oh, So it was a plan?", I said.

214

When asked what I wanted from life, I would invariably say, "Happiness that comes with success" .

Looking at my XAT result is one of the fondest memories of this New year. I wasn't surprised; I had after all been expecting this much. However, the result means more than I can explain. It gave me a high! This, in turn, reinforced my belief in the philosophical goal of my life. Above all, the sense of accomplishment did wonders to my confidence.

In that hour, I underwent a complete transition. I lost all my inhibitions and cynicism. Suddenly peer approval ceased to matter. I could be whoever I wanted to be and do whatever I wanted to with my life and none could second guess me. I did things that I normally shy away from. This includes standing up for myself, openly asking for help and avowing to prepare so well that nothing would keep me from my goal, not even my not so favourable luck!

Good things started happening all of a sudden. I grew closer to old friends who had drifted apart and renewed contact with many acquaintances. I could identify the people who were genuinely happy for me and realized that they were the only ones who mattered. Their optimism about my chances rubbed off on me and added to my euphoria. Being someone who never got anything for free, I was basking in the glory of my small success.

I started writing this article because this is one the best weeks of my life. I have never been happier and more confident. I'm not daydreaming here. Still have miles to go before I sleep ( Before converting XL that is :) ) but I want to preserve this feeling and never let it go, in good times and bad. More than the result, I'll cherish the winds of change it brought along inside of me.

215
Ginger

By 9.00pm everyday, Champaklal building wears a deserted look. Galas closed, the staircase silent - that's the time I stroll the length of the silent corridors in search of tit-bits.

Am quite well-fed during the day but there is always place for scraps.

Some weeks ago, while on the prowl, I heard some squeaking near the toilet door. I knew well it was a rat and that for all traditional and fictional purposes he and I are bad enemies. But I still ventured further and saw this poor black and ugly thing trapped near the door edge. Guess, the last person who used the toilet did not realise there was a rat while pulling the door open.

I went closer, he squeaked even more. I had a choice - either pounce on him and make sure my dinner is set for the day or reverse Tom and Jerry tales and help him.

I had eaten some roast chicken for lunch so I could go easy and decided to do a good deed. But first I told the rat to shut-up and clam down. His squeaks were irritating and not even in tune.

I tried to push the door from the other side so as to free the poor thing but it did not work - the door was far too heavy for the frail me. Thought for a few minutes and an idea struck. I walked away from the door and came back running and lunged on to it with force. Boy - the door moved, the rat escaped and I fell on the floor with a thud. I felt pain in my left paw and could not lift myself.

To make it worse, the rat was nowhere in sight - so much for re-writing history (read fairy tales). I lay there stationary for some 15 minutes and I heard the squeak again. The rat had come back. He looked at me, smiled and said: "Hey cat, you saved my life by almost letting go of yours. What can I do in return?"

By then I felt a little better and told him it was fine and he need not feel guilty. But the rat came close and slid his body under my aching paw. "You can rest on me till you feel better," he said. I did feel better.

An hour later the pain had gone. We spoke and exchanged notes. I told him my name was Ginger and since no one bothered to keep him a name I named him Mr Remington (Remy for short, like in the movie Ratatouille). We spoke through the night and rummaged the corner dustbin together. He passed on the fish bones and I gave him pizza crust remains.

We've been friends eversince but we meet only at night - because during the day we are supposedly arch enemies.

Earlier articles by PG Ginger

http://www.pagalguy.com/discussions/an-anecdote-from-my-life-16898153/17626613

http://www.pagalguy.com/discussions/an-anecdote-from-my-life-16898153/17814195

216

I am falling into the arms of hell,

I am climbing the mountain of fire,

Rising from the dark sinful well;

I am holding up by a thin wire.

......................................................................................................

I, a strange creature at all,

Feel a heavy remorse and filth all around.

Towards the dark reality, I try to crawl,

On a smooth ambiguous plane

where ashes of guilt surround.

.........................................................................................

With my head down, I watch my own grave,

I smile to myself like I always did;

this is what I deserve, this is what I crave,

A pale motionless thief, covered by a heavy lid.

......................................................................................................

Failures were the trophies I always won,

Tears were the rewards that made me smile,

From the cruel romances, I could never shun,

rendering their precious cup with sweet vile.

......................................................................................................

It's not destiny, It's what you sow,

So shall you reap, such goes the saying,

I shook my head and fell to a new low,

This is different, something strange

Something better? My soul was praying.

......................................................................................................

217

26th July 2008: 6:00 p.m: A normal day, normal hour, so I thought. I was on my way to school for extra-classes. There was a road to cross and I waited along with others for the signal to turn green. There were children all over the place, some on bicycles, some chattering along and others huddled around food-stalls. The street vendors were marketing their products loud and clear adding to the general noise around.

6:15 p.m: Still along the same road, the traffic slowly mounting.

6:17 p.m : I heard a deafening noise some place close - boom - followed by black smoke and a gush of dusty air hit us all from where the boom originated. There was black smoke every where and a horrible smell emanated. People just started running in all directions. Vehicles picked up speed. People tried calling on their cell phones but they were jammed. The signal had stopped working.

In a few seconds, the picture had meta-morphed from the busy lane to a ghastly place.

6: 25 p.m : A second explosion went off at the next cross-road which was the most probable escape route to the ones who survived the first explosion. There was even more commotion all around. People kept running in all directions and those in their cars driving even faster. One question seemed to be in everyone's minds - was there another blast expected?

6:55 p.m. : I was home, I don't know how. It 'was' just a normal day. My mother berated and quizzed me about my quick return. Just then the television began blaring news about serial blasts in Ahmedabad. There were 17 live bombs which went off in a chain, killing and injuring about 200 people in the city

I could not sleep that night and the following nights. The visuals kept coming back, the sound of the explosions still vivid. I could not sleep for months after that. That one hour was the most life-changing one for me.

Years have passed for the incident and today I get sleep at night but the fear of a blast anytime and anywhere continues to haunt.

218

They say getting into an MBA college in India is more about past mistakes and less about current achievements.So here I am with a 99.3%centile and no IIM call.

It all started in school with my measly board percentage(75%).But that did not stop me from entering DCE, one of the best engineering college in the country.Life in DCE was like a rollercoaster ride.Hanging out with friends, not attending classes and other things that i probably shouldn't mention here became a part and parcel of my life.I eventually ended up with almost 15 backs(worst mistake of my life).

Doing an MBA has always been my dream.Unlike many people who do it just for the money it has to offer or the profile build-up, I was actually passionate about it.So i started studying and by the end of college i had cleared all my papers managing a face-saving 53% and a job worth 4 lakhs.Didn't take the job since i had to sign a bond which forced me to work for 3 years.I started preparing for CAT after college.Got 99.3%centile.I was elated.But that happiness was short-lived once I came upon the criteria of various MBA colleges.Even colleges that would give me a call like FMS, MDI would be hard to convert because of my academics and no work ex.

Now I am not angry since it will not help me get a seat in my choice of college.I would like to say a few things:-

1.How is an IITian with 99%centile, 5 CGPA and very good extra co-curricular profile worse than a student from Bahadur Shah college of Engineering with same percentile and 9.5 CGPA(I didn't even know this was possible!!!)??

2.Even if you do want to focus on academics, do it in just the final selection.What is the point of a high CAT score if it can't even guarantee a place in the GD/PI round??

3.Also take into account the fact that different colleges are different in giving marks to students.Government college professors, especially ones at DCE give marks like uncle scrooge gives money.

The ideal procedure would be an entry into the GD/PI round based on just the CAT score.Final selection should be based on CAT score(50%), GD/WAT(20%), PI(20%) and work ex(10%). This would be the most fair procedure to select a candidate and it will also allow students like me a chance at a fresh start.Now i know that many B-schools would question my thoughts but i would just like to ask them one question:-

What are you looking for "Good managers or good marksheets"??

219

Dear friend,

How are you feeling on this fine day? I hope that your life in India is treating you well, and that you don't mind getting a random message from a guy living so far away. Our days are always full of new things, aren't they? I've been to your part of the world, and it was beautiful, but perhaps a strange experience.

It's like the Dalai Lama said:

"Old friends pass away, new friends appear. It is just like the days. An old day passes, a new day arrives. The important thing is to make it meaningful: a meaningful friend - or a meaningful day."

So I'm writing you here in the hope that I am making a connection, something special and new. Perhaps we will find that our words are enough to form a bond, and we can talk, or even more with time. Then again perhaps we will not, and these are just words passing on the breeze of life.

Even if we never become friends and you find no interest in what I've written here, I hope that this letter found you during a happy life and a pleasant day - and that in some small way reading this made you feel a little better about the world.

However, maybe your life is difficult, or it's not a happy one, and if so please know that even though I am a stranger I do care, and do wish to talk about whatever your heart can share. After all, if friendship is only ever about happy things, then it is not of any real value. Half of life is always dark, and it must be shared like anything else or we will only ever have half friends and half lovers.

So, what do you say my far away friend? What does your heart say?

For now, I must rest a little. I just came home from staying in Europe for three months, and I am quite tired. It was a long trip, and a new life, but now I'm back to the old one and wondering what new adventures await.

Yours,

-Leif

220

Achievements:

1) OA:98.8; Quant:97.7; Verbal:97.1

2) X:90.6; XII:82.67

3) Engineering:69.8

Results:

1) NO calls from A,B,C,L,K,I.

2) Wasted 3 years running behind this CAT.(Normalization baba was very angry on my previous attempts).

3) Wasted about 1 Lac Rupees in these 3 years(That includes the drink party given to friends thinking that I will get call).

Regrets:

1) Born GENERAL and that too MALE.

2) Done Engineering (that too from Pune University where university topper gets around 78)

3) Biggest regret is that I do not how to improve in above three ( Feeling HELPLESS; Suggestions are welcome).

Lesson Learnt:

1) Give GMAT and stop running behind this CAT.

Suggestions for future aspirants:

1) Give CAT at your own RISK. Think twice. ( Because of Normalization baba and the awesome process by which old IIMs select aspirants).

2) If you have decided to give CAT make sure to get minimum 99.75 OA.

3) The last suggestion to all GEM people: Please read my suggestions again.

P.S.- I never wanted to hurt anybody's feelings and I am sorry if I did so. I was tired and just needed a platform to vent my frustation.

221

" I was jealous of Alex.", I said, as we were in an elevator, in a hospital, which was taking us down to the morgue. My voice was shaky. Sam patted my back but did not say a word.

" I was jealous of Alex that he got to marry the love of his life and we cannot even after I tried and you tried, we cannot. I was jealous of Alex that he had Liz and now the baby and they were happy and together. I was at the baby shower yesterday, they were so happy, I was so happy and today...,",I ran out of breath.

"Alex is thrown out of the wind-shield .What the hell is happening Sam? I really...I can't... ", I said through my tears.

He stood next to me, listening. His eyes were wet. He did not speak.

"Is there a point? Is there any reason why the universe is so screwed up?Tell me Sam.", I yelled through my tears.

"Breathe", he said.

I pushed him away."I really need some answers, because if you can think of any reason, any reason at all, that why is everything so random and mean, now would be an amazing time to tell me!", I choked and broke down crying.

"Sshh...I know. I know. I promise you. We'll be together someday and I'll make sure of that, one way or another, I promise, Okay? And about Alex, calm down, everyone did the best they could. Its a huge loss for you,I know but more than that, its a huge and irreparable loss for Liz and the unborn baby, so calm down. Alex would want you to be there with Liz and his kid, so you got to pull it together, okay?", Sam said,holding my shoulders.

I cried and leaned on him. I did not have it me to watch Alex there, at the morgue.

When we were just there,"I can't. I just can't", I choked again.

"okay, listen to me, breathe. Take deep breaths". He took a paper bag from the counter and held it to my nose,

"Breathe in this", he said. It was helpful. My heart rate subsided and I could breathe.

"Now, you sit here",he said, making me sit on a raised platform. "and wait, I'll be go there and see what needs to be done! Liz will be here and its going to be difficult for her especially during this time and you know you need to take care of her.", he said, patting my back, helping me breathe.

I nodded. My face was drenched in tears. I did not know how I would confront Liz. I broke down again. Sam had left towards the morgue. I could not imagine the sight of Alex dead. I felt bad for Liz and the baby.

222

In an archaic time, there lived a kid. He was enriched with philosophy. He never thought practically. His story starts from the time he was a novice. He had a firm belief that you always get good if your deeds are so. His life was an unhappy one though. His father considered him his property. His mother was obsequious to his father. He had no space. All he had to do was what his father demands. But being a good kid, he never complained. He believed that somewhere in the horizon, something good is waiting for him. He was right. Something good finally happened to him-love.

He fell in love with a beautiful girl. He admired her. He cherished her. He worshipped her. He made himself better just to become what she seek. He tried to impress her. And then one fine day, she finally told him that she likes him and that she had never seen a person as good, as mannerful, as decent, as simple, as honest, as loyal, as loving, as caring and as trustworthy as him. The kid's belief in do good and you get good became stronger. There love motivated him. He started working hard only to make there life better. But he didn't knew that something arcane is on its way.

One day suddenly, the girl came and said that she loves someone else. He felt like the floor was being pulled beneath him. He was falling. All he could see was darkness. He called himself a looser, a nobody. He had failed. But somehow he still managed himself. His philosophy helped him to get out of it partially.

The philosopher kid consoled himself thinking that this horrible, painful and unfair phase of his life is to elicit the best of him. He consoled himself thinking that by overcoming this obstacles, he would realise his true potential. He had consoled himself but he still didn't forgive the girl for what she had done. Love is a great motivater, but bitterness is not a less motivater.

He started appreciating every moment. He let himself break free and set his goals high. He had failed in love but he won't fail in life is what he would promise himself every single day. For years, he worked arduous. And one fine day, he reached the apex.

He was happy like never before.Enjoying at the apex, he decided to look back at his life. His happiness eloped at the very thought of her. Tears rolled down his cheek, when he finally realised that no amount of success can substitute TRUE LOVE. He was alone. He cried.

When you have everything, what can you possibly desire?THE ONE YOU LOVED THE MOST.

Read more at

http://titanhets.blogspot.in/

223

It was 27th of August 2013, I was on the verge of my break up with Sigma when I saw Swati for the first time. I had always believed that I could not be in love with anyone other than sigma and here I was being proved wrong. But then, I consoled myself calling her a crush. For the last five months, I've been so perplexed that this matter alone consumed a lot of time. Five months and I still could not fathom if its love or just a crush until the day before yesterday? No, I didn't exactly got the answer, but I got an intimation. I saw her talking to few guys and it didn't go right with me. I felt like crying. My feelings were incomprehensible for me. On one hand, I call her my crush and on the other hand, I feel possessive about her. Is it okay to feel possessive about your crush? No? Then is it possible that the person you are calling your crush is actually your love? Various thoughts had beleaguered my mind for last five months and so finally I decided to confess everything to her. She completely understood my feelings, a talk with her pacified me. I promised her that the day I would comprehend my feelings, I will straight away unveil it to her. I hope that day arrives soon. Till then, we promised to stay very good friends. Read more at

http://titanhets.blogspot.in/

224

I have been a daily commuter of suburban railways of Kolkata for quite a long time. It is my daily affair to come to the station, buy a ticket, wait for the train for a time that seems infinite, board the train fighting your way in among the hundreds, surviving the physically and mentally enduring journey for half an hour, and again struggle your way out, curse the train authorities, go for work and repeat the same cycle while coming back.

You can spot a number of beggars outside the ticket counters; small children almost pulling your trousers and crying for money. Every time I bought a ticket, I got Rs 3 as change. Seeing the change in my hands, their enthusiasm always got heightened. I could virtually see the excitement in their eyes for getting the money. My sense of guilt didn't allow me to put the money back to my purse. I gave some to them before rushing back to board the train.

I have noticed something strange in me since the fairs have been revised from Rs 7-10. Now, when I buy a ticket, I don't get any change back. The children keep crying for money, but my laziness and sense of urgency to catch the train stops me from taking the money out of my purse and give them some.

To my surprise most of the people turned out be as lazy or impatient as me. I don't see people giving alms near the ticket counter much now-a-days. I have noticed the number of children near the ticket counters reducing. The crowd instead has shifted to the cigarette and pan shops nearby. It was decided that the prices would be increased for the improvement of facilities in the suburban trains and the be kept in multiples of five rupees for convenience to the passengers. I don't see any significant improvement in the services of Railways. The trains are as unsafe as before and stations remain as dirty as before. Probably the only thing they have achieved is removing beggars from the area around ticket counters, and you can count that as a form of cleanliness isn't it ?

225

I pressed the red button and the black screen went alive. A Saas-Bahu serial was being telecast. The head of the family had just died. The family was in shock, crying, not ready to accept the fact that their beloved grandfather was no more. I suddenly felt a choking in the middle of my chest. I couldn't breathe properly. My finger was still on the red button of the remote, frozen though. It would seem an over-reaction to many, after all it was just television, but it wasn't for me. I had gone through almost the same scenario a decade back, when I noticed my grandfather, more still than ever, having succumbed to the final truth-Death.

Death is a disturbing event. I faced it first when I was 10. I can never forget that kind, gentle face lying silent on the ground. I wasn't mature enough to understand the loss I had borne but the scene was horrifying. Ladies of the family were crying out loud, neighbors and cousins running in and out collecting things required her last rituals and many related and unrelated people all asking the same thing-“how did it happen?” Although irritating , but reasonable question though. She was healthy, young and mother of a 10-year old kid.

Few years back, while I was preparing for MBA entrance exams in a metro-city, I received a call that my granny was no more. This was the third death I witnessed in my family and fifth overall. I attended my class, appeared for a mock-exam, came back, didn't pack much, reached my hometown the next morning and returned the very same night despite everybody asking me to stay for a few days. I don't know if I was over-practical but my simple thought was-“she is past; my class tomorrow for the exam is future.”

Few months later, I received calls from two friends, at a month's interval. Both were disturbed due to deaths they had witnessed. The distress and uneasiness in their voices and thoughts led me to think about my reaction to my granny's death. For the record, I loved my granny more than my grandpa but I have no shame or regret in accepting the fact that I was hardly disturbed by her passing away. May be because I'd faced this (now) not-so-disturbing-event more often than my friends.

Today, I do realize the losses I have borne in the last one and a half decade. But all I've learnt is-“Life has to move on, so do you.”

226
Ginger

I wonder when, why and who fed milk to cats the first time? Because cats and milk just don't gel - in fact milk tastes like sewer water especially after a whisker-smacking fish meal. But then, we are fed milk all the time and we lap it up because often, that is the only thing we stray cats get.

But there is one good thing that happened because of my drinking (milk) habit - which is Pintoo got to keep his job at the ice-cream factory.

Pintoo (20) came to Mumbai last year to make a life. A handsome guy, he went through the grind of looking for jobs and when none came by, he joined his Uncle's ice-cream factory which is on the ground floor of the Champaklal building, where I stay.

One one of my strolls at night, I saw Pintoo for the first time, sitting alone in a dark corner. His looked depressed and in front of him were empty pails with milk spilt all over. I reiterate that I don't like milk but since that was a no-food day (PaGaLGuY office is closed on Sundays), I ventured close.

Pintoo looked up but didn't move. I went closer. He kept staring at me but did not lift his hand to shoo me away. I decided to go for it and just went lapping up all the milk. He kept staring. Finally he said: "Good, at least someone likes my ice-cream."

"I am having it because I am hungry or would not have touched it by a barge-pole," I replied.

"Why, is it so bad," he asked and I nodded some 3 times to get the point across. Pintoo went on to tell me that his Uncle had sacked him because he just could not make tasty ice-cream.

I felt sad for him and decided to lend a helping hand. Have learnt a bit about ice-cream since I often watch the guys making it. They've been giving me the leftovers as well, so I know the taste too.

I went through his ice-cream cooking process and found out his errors. One, he was using the same quantity of sugar replacer as sugar, which is wrong since sugar replacers like honey, etc are sweeter. Also he was adding a tablespoon of gelatin to a liter of the mixture when he should be adding only a teaspoon.

We made the next pail of ice-cream together and just for larks added a good measure of cream. Boy, the ice-cream was delicious. We both had a cup each.

Pintoo could not thank me enough - he lifted me, cuddled me and kissed me - all of which I hate.

The day ended well. Pintoo's Uncle loved the ice-cream. I was not so hungry and Pintoo had his job back.

PG Ginger's earlier articles

http://www.pagalguy.com/discussions/an-anecdote-from-my-life-16898153/18759561

227

"It's a crime to steal," I have been brought up with this notion as I am a kleptomaniac, a person who suffers from an irrational urge to steal in the absence of any economic motive whatsoever. In my childhood days I was forgiven for all such acts of stealing and even sympathised for my condition. My parents always tried to hide this fact from my relatives and friends as they thought it was better to bury the past and provide me with a clean slate.

I graduated from a Law college last year and joined the civil court. Earlier this month, I came across an assignment where the convict was a young boy of 18 years of age. He was charged with crime of stealing a few oranges and selling them for profit. As was caught red handed, it was an open and shut case.

But after going through his file I felt an itch. I felt as if something is not right and I took it upon myself to visit the plantation . My aim was to find out if it was just a one-time incident. As I was strolling in the fields I plucked one orange and started to eat it. A few workers saw me but none said a word to the guards. I didn't intend to pluck it at first but it just happened. This was the itch I have been feeling, what if the boy was a kleptomaniac just like I am.

After talking to a few workers there I found out that the boy used to steal 2 to 3 oranges on daily basis. One day when he tried to smuggle 5 oranges, 1 orange fell from a hole in his t shirt in front of the guards. First he was beaten up for this and then handed over to police for a second round of beating.

On the day of trail his mother came in office and told about her family condition. She said her boy stole oranges only to barter them with new clothes. I tried to understand her pain and console her for what was about to come. Even on my way to court room she kept on explaining her situation and emphasised on how a conviction at this age can ruin the boy's career. In the end she said that she is proud of her son and don't think he has committed any crime.

Everything went as per the book and the boy was sentenced with a fine or six months of jail. I tried to rationalize this incident many times but failed to help myself from comparing the boy with myself. If everyone is equal in eyes of Law is equal, then why am I free??? Is kleptomania a disease of rich people only??? Shouldn't we forgive this Orange thief and term this incident as a kleptomaniacal misconduct???

Also published at my blog : http://simplyraghav.wordpress.com/

228

Having read many articles dealing with students' failure in CAT exam, I decided to write this piece. Friends, I am no exception to CAT failure. I gave CAT 3 times and failed in every single attempt. My life entirely revolved around the CAT exam. Other than coming out trumps in this all important examination, there seemed no purpose to my life. FAILURE was the label to my life. Besides these academic failures, I saw many personal failures in my life. I understand the pain of failure but, friends, we are helpless. I am neither going to preach to you the same old adage “failures are the stepping stones to success” nor will I trumpet about how I resurrected my life from failures. The point I would like to drive home is how I understood the reasons behind my failure. Reason 1: Heavily dependent on certain alternatives. Reason 2 : Meager resources remained for other alternatives. Rather than complaining about failure let us understand why we are the victims to this failure - answered by reason 1 - and why we cannot come out of that quagmire and try out new opportunities - best answered by reason 2.

Coming back, somehow the road not taken has made me land in IIFT Delhi in 2013. Newton's law of inertia holds true everywhere. I continued in the same state of dependency until an external force acted on me. I persisted in this state until my summer Internship. Then came the external force and tipping point of my life. I was introduced to entrepreneurship, though this subject was mundane; this provoked a certain thought process in me. I firmly believed that entrepreneurship would end my woes of dependency. I made it a point to put an end to this slavery. I only wanted to sit at the other side of the table and watch the movie of life. This is when I decided to start my venture. This venture may be a success or a failure but at least it gives me an opportunity to be independent for the next one and a half years. I can stop being interviewed because I can interview people. I can stop looking for jobs because I can provide jobs. I can stop worrying about meeting deadlines because I create deadlines for others. I can stop worrying about success because I can create success or failure. We made our lives tied down to circumstances and that is the reason we carp repeatedly when these go against us but when my path is self-determined, at least I will not complain if I am wrong. I can drive my destiny. I am not an eminent personality to write intellectually heavy quotes so I decided to borrow one from Einstein “Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted”. A retrospective thought makes this quote hold true in every walk of your life.

229

I will be 25 years of age by next week this February and this makes me a bit sad and unsettled because of a couple of reasons.

First: Due to life changing interventions by Pro-metric and IIMs , I am sure I won't be getting admitted to any IIM this year. Again, this affects me in two ways:

(i) I shall have to wait and waste another year in my current company for my desire of domain change to be fulfilled.

(ii) My freedom span of next 2 years is suddenly in jeopardy and under rigorous scrutiny by my parents.

Since I have a Sarkari Naukri and I come from a middle class family, every relative of mine wants to take the credit for initiation of my doom( no offence to anyone already married), my Marriage. Till last year many good proposals knocked on my door but my parents humbly declined them as my parents wanted me to first complete my post graduation. But since January 2014 or so to say after CAT result I am feeling a different kind of push from my family especially from my mother's side for marriage. Phrases like " Beta, age hoti jaa rahi hai ,future ke baare mein bhi to plan karna hai ", just don't help either.

Second: Everyone in my friend circle is either buying a ring or getting married; as if my company's cultural events were not enough torture for me already. It's cool and all mushy mushy that they are getting married and they tag me in their wedding pics but then there are some who have started to tag me in their new born baby's pics titled "Lo ab tum ban gaye Chacha ". And the kind of advice I receive from my seniors is just unbelievable from where I stand.

Yesterday, my GM asked me "Kid, How's life" .

I replied with a smile ,"Life is good ,sir, but the workload is on an increase these days".

He laughed and said "Kid , get married" .

Now I don't claim to be a hardcore law abiding citizen but last time I checked child marriage was still a crime in our country.

Incidents like these force me to think on lines of getting married or as they say settling down in life. But here is the thing, I know myself and I am not ready for this kind of responsibility. I just can't put my dreams aside and get settled for something I don't want . It might appear childish and it probably is but I want to live a little more , travel a little more , listen to my favorite music a little more, sleep a little more ,hang out with friends a little more .I just can't get married anytime soon as I am still a baccha ,thoda kachha...