An Anecdote From my Life

Jobs & Careers
357

So here I am composing my period of uncertainty in a lazy afternoon with birds chirping outside and a Bollywood song sending me to times of nostalgia.Never have I experienced such a period of uncertainty before. It has been 2 weeks and I am clueless about what lies ahead.Just gave my exit interview through the company's portal.Since past 4 yrs i knew what I am going to do in my next 1 sec.4 yrs went by like 365*4 secs.Time couldn't stop me and neither I could stop it.People came by and people went.I cried ,i laughed and i forgot but never paused.Life was dotted with few successes and major failures.I knew exactly what to do next.As if a goal was set for every sec.An alarm inside constantly ringed to remind me this is your precious 1 sec and you cannot miss it.And I obeyed it diligently!!!.As If I was the busiest person on the earth.4 hrs of sleep seemed to be a luxury to me.Craved when that IIM would call me and I would pause for a moment.

And finally when I got that call I am elated.Prepared for the interview in ways not even prepared for my exam.But ended up giving the worst interview or rather an over confident interview.While writing the essay during my WAT, I had the feeling that someone else was writing for me and not me.Words were coming out of my pen and I couldn't control them and neither my thoughts.As if I was on a debatable mode and not on a writing mode.All these ended on that single 10th April with a feeling of dejection.

However had already took a resolution at the start of the year that this year would be a new one unlike any of the previous ones with new goals and new aspirations.Accordingly quit my job on 28th April as I couldn't drag myself any further in a place where you don't learn anything and just obey.

So here I am.A busy gal for whom years were like secs is now wondering what to do in the next 8 hrs.The most undecided phase till 19th May when my life will again take a new direction.One where it will take me straight to the place for which I slogged for 4 yrs and the other an undecided one where I need to travel an uncharted territory to eke out my living and my goal.


Till then serving the notice period and definitely not loving it at all.Desperately want those days back when again 4 hrs of sleep will just be a luxury and every moment will be an adrenaline rush to learn something new.



358

Diary Date – June 13th, 2000 - 12:30am
(My maternal house, Bikaner, Rajasthan)

We just finished ludo, a game we play most in summer vacations at Bikaner. I asked Shobha didi if I could break my fast and eat something as it was past midnight and the date had technically changed. She replied that one should not break a fast without taking a bath, that too after 4am. I had half a mind to question her on that belief but not enough strength. A sudden phone call and tension prevailed on faces.

2am (in a vehicle)

I couldn't understand why they took me along at such a short notice with no luggage at all. I was trying to adjust in a more comfortable position in that vehicle with 9 people crammed together, rushing towards Delhi, our home. Four more hours of that adjustment and we stopped for a break at 6am. I too ate something. “Sorry, Shobha Di! Couldn't keep to your words.”

10am (To my place, Delhi)

We entered Delhi, and now I understood their reason of taking me along. I was the only soul in that vehicle who knew the way to our place. But to their disappointment, Delhi is big and complex enough for a 10 year old kid to guide them. After seeking people's help, we reached a place where I finally saw that temple with two twirling snakes on top and I shouted “Now I know!!!” 10 minutes and we were home. One of my uncles was waiting outside our place with a seriously negative expression on his face.

6pm (in the vehicle)

We were rushing back to Bikaner in the same vehicle but with less people this time as some of us had shifted to another vehicle following us, with a siren and revolving blue light over it. The noise of the siren is kind of dramatic when it's far but haunting when it comes closer. After another 4 hours, we took a dinner break and Dad asked me while helping me wash my hands after dinner, “What if something happens to her?” Too heavy a question for a father to ask and equally heavy for a kid to answer.

Diary Date – June 14th, 2000 - 6am
(My grandparents' house, Bikaner, Rajasthan)

I slept fitfully at night and was feeling tired. May be because I had travelled 1000+ kms in around 30 hours. Our vehicle stopped 100 meters before our place. Our place was surrounded by almost 15-20 neighbours. "And what is this noise??And where is that vehicle with siren and lights following us?? Oh there it is. Right in front of our house.”

We were walking towards our place. That crying sound was turning from dramatic to haunting exactly like that siren as we were getting close to our place. I entered the place and bent down to open my shoelaces. “Why on earth would someone cry out this loud? And why everyone is rushing in and out?” Ladies from the whole family and neighborhood were bawling in that hall. What I was missing till now was that body with a white cloth across her length. Lying down in the middle of the courtyard that body was not usual. Someone just unveiled her face and… and there was a silence. Like I'd gone deaf because the ladies werestill bawling but I couldn't hear that. Everything was clear now. Everything was clear from my mind and something was deleted from my life.

She had gone. Something inside me, not ready to accept this, pushed me two steps backward and there he was, Dad, right behind me. I turned back, looked at him, with a gazillion questions in mind, but couldn't ask one. Dead silence between the two of us. We were not uttering a single word but understanding each other, like a conversation was going on through eyes. He asked me to sit with sister and I followed. Can't recall when I fell asleep in her lap. Everything was happening like for the first time in life today. Rest of the day went in some rituals I'd never seen before but was asked to perform. I was looking at the high flames and that gentle face turning into ashes and smoke. It wasn't horrible but sad. It was sad not because I had lost her. It was sad because I couldn't understand what I had lost, what had happened. I couldn't make any sense out of it. I was 10 for god's sake.


(pic courtesy: http://berkozturk.deviantart.com/)

Diary Date – May 11th, 2014 – 10pm
(in my Room, Bikaner, Rajasthan)

I cleaned my room today and found a diary I haven't opened for years. I opened and read it. It feels like it happened yesterday. Everything is crystal clear in my mind till date. I can visualize every second of it-Me adjusting in the vehicle, sounds of siren, bawling, recognizing twirling snakes on the top, that silence between me and Dad. The silence. It's still here, until a message beeped in my cell-phone that read
“Forward this message to 10 people if you want a long life for your mother. Happy Mother's Day.”


359

There is a big difference between 'Pessimism' and 'Reverse Psychology'. I am someone who believes in the concept of Reverse Psychology and that is because it works for me most of the times.

When I say I won't get through something, deep down I am very much confident I will. I don't just say it. I try thinking bad and good happens. That doesn't make me a negative person. That's Reverse Psychology, it's different from pessimism and it's PERFECTLY NORMAL.


When I go for an exam, even if I am not fully prepared, I am fully confident. I am confident enough to do it better than my preparation. But when someone asks me how I did, I don't want to be too optimistic and spoil it. I want people not to expect. I don't like getting results under my expectations. So I don't find it any wrong when I say I did just fine in an exam when I actually have done better than that.I superficially think it was just OK, knowing I did better.That's reverse psychology and not pessimism. Pessimism would be strongly believing that I haven't done well and maybe even won't get through. There's a difference.

Pessimism is a negative belief. Reverse psychology is a negative display over a positive belief.

A person wanting to succeed will obviously never want to think bad, but repeated failures make him do so. From here on, two things can happen- An approach of straight Optimism- Pessimism or a belief of being jinxed and rather going for "Thinking or speaking negative to make things happen in a positive manner".

There is a set of people who, if reading this, might not get anything from the above lines. These are the downright optimistic ones.There is nothing wrong in having a positive, negative or reverse kind of thinking.If one can can carry it well, it's good. If it's harmful, one has to change it. If any psychology student ever comes across this article, I would sure like them to share their views.

360

For every time you hurt me,

I felt myself losing sanity.

Not once did I think that you didn't deserve it,

always blamed it on me.

As the years went by,

I looked at myself differently.

Every time I got hurt,

more numb I became,

to feel something felt unnatural,

negativity engulfed me.

And I thought we all got our happy endings,

and a prince comes to see,

but the ugly truth haunts me,

and forbids me to see,

All I wish for is my happy ending.

Thinking the next one,

would see the real me.

And now I've lost myself completely.

I see no reason for him to look at me.

So lost into my own li'l world,

I can't differentiate, maybe, that's me?

Every time I writhe in pain,

I become more difficult for me to see.


361

It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.

You look at your job... and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.

Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure.

You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you're doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person. One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!


What you may not realize is that every one reading this relates to it.

We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out. Send this to your friends if you feel like ... maybe it will help someone feel like they aren't alone in their state of confusion...


We call it the "Quarter-life Crisis".

Courtesy:- The Unknown !!

PS :- I am not the author . I found this brilliant piece 3-4 years ago when i was struggling with my quarter life crisis. I preserved it and read again and again whenever I had any similar kind of situation. I am just publishing it here so that it can reach more and more number of people out there who are struggling with their life..err..quarter life crisis

362

'They say Love happens only once,it touches your soul and never detaches itself from your heart.This eternal love accompanies you every moment,in your successes and your failures.No matter if you are surrounded by intricate elements of your existence or whether you are sitting on a lonely porch beside a placid riverstream , Love always accompanies you.'

'They say it begins with a coy smile or a humble reply.It is an inception for the journey never to be forgotten.In the mischiefs and caring gestures,love strengthens,reaching deep within yourself,connecting your souls and hearts.

'They say it is challenged by uncertainties.The bond is tested by the ominous dilemna.The quandary leading you away,from the thing that matters you the most.It takes you far away,weakening and instilling the negative realities around you.Then comes the moment,where your commitment is tested.The moment where If you win,then what you went through in winning, was not in vain.And if you lose it is not only a great loss but also the beginning of the phase of ambiguity and endurance .'

-CYRUS


363

5 stars restaurants charge thousands of bucks for a meal, but still some people have dinner like I had mine when my grandfather expired- In silence, like someone just died. Like any noise of cutlery will ruin their reputation. Children of the family are instructed not to make any noise and learn how to eat .Like those people sitting besides are judging. Like life is all about impressing people rather than enjoying it for oneself.

I mean I have seen people eating pizzas using all those accessories available just in order to appear poised and classy, while all they want to do is to grab hold of the slice with their hand and munch it.

This is not a matter of etiquettes, this is a matter of choice-

It's easy to say that 'I don't care' while that's all what most people do. They care about how odd they'll appear in a jeans and T-shirt in a marriage ceremony, when everyone else is wearing a suit! Even though suits are uncomfortable, they are a must. Like one will really find a bride for himself in the wedding wearing a suit and will end up a bachelor if he wears a t-shirt.

There are, and will always be people 'watching', 'judging', 'laughing' or maybe 'commenting' too. People do that all the time. That's what 'people' are for. We are a part of them. It's only when we believe no one's watching that we do what we actually want to do, say what we actually want to say, in whatever pitch we like.

Eating a burger the way most of us do when we are at home- Opening the mouth wide enough to put it in, without wrapping it up half in the tissue, letting the sauce drip and not giving a damn to what the person sitting next to us is thinking. That's a far cry for the majority.

Life is all about living. No one cares a year later what clothes we wore on what day or whether we were shouting or eating clumsily in McDonalds an year ago. So if people around are too much important, then living life on one's own terms is not possible. What's possible is just a life, which people think is correct for us. And it's not worth living.


364

Love is painful, but the pain is certainly a blessing. Love is painful because love brings growth. Love demands, transforms and is painful because love gives you a new birth. Love brings your heart into relationship -- and when the heart is in relationship there is always pain. If you avoid the pain, you will miss all pleasures of life. With love you become human; you stand erect on earth. With love you are vertical With love are problems. But with problems is growth -- the greater the problem, the greater the opportunity.

More and more pain, too. That's why many people never love -- it is so painful. They never become vertical. Love never shatters you completely. It simply shatters you a little, a little bit It shatters the crust of your ego, but the centre of the ego remains intact. Then there is a deeper pain, deeper than love, and that is of prayer -- it shatters you utterly It is death. When you have learnt how to love, and you have learnt that the pain that love brings is a blessing in disguise, it is beautiful, then you become able and you take another step -- that step is prayer.

All lovers feel a little miserable. They would like to disappear completely, but it is not possible in human relationships. Human relationship is limited. But one learns from it, that there is a possibility: if it can happen so much in a human relationship, how much more can happen in a relationship with the Divine? Love makes you ready to take the final jump, the quantum leap. That's what I call prayer, or you can call it meditation. You have to disappear for existence to be. Love is a training ground, a school, to learn first lessons -- of the beauty, of the blessing and benediction of disappearance; to learn that pain is blessed.

So when you are in love, or when love arises, cooperate with it, don't try resisting. People come to a compromise. The basic problem that I have been looking at is that lovers by and by come to a compromise. The compromise is: You don't hurt me, I will not hurt you. That's what marriage is. Then people become settled. They become so afraid of pain that they say, "Don't hurt me and I will not hurt you." But then when pain disappears, love also disappears. They exist together. When you are in love, love hurts.

It hurts terribly. But never resist, never create any barrier for pain. Allow it. And by and by, you will see that it was a wrong interpretation. It is not really pain. It is just that something is going so deep in you that you interpret it like a pain. You don't know anything else. You are only aware of pain in your past life, in your past experience. Whenever something penetrates deep, you interpret it as pain. Don't use the word 'pain'. When love and love's arrow goes deep into your heart, close your eyes and don't use words -- just see what it is, and you will never see it is pain.

This is not my original writing but an inspiration from an article read long time back whose author's name I cannot recollect as of now.

Writer- Anonymous

365

We are probably nothing if not for our emotions. But every guy out here reading this line would probably not agree with me and find this silly. After all, guys aren't known to be emotional or rather not do a PDA of their emotions.

But before you hold off, I am not talking about your 'real' emotional side. I am writing about the emotions we carry with us throughout the day, every day. It could be anything from a smile, a bigggggggg 'Hi', a 'how are you?' question, and even a 'hug'.

Well, fortunately you are not alone. We all do it, day in day out. Including myself! You know it at this very moment that you have done it already quite a few times since the day started. Have we ever wondered how often our 'Hi' is not how a 'Hi' is supposed to be? Is it jolly, chirpy, fun, genuine? Mostly not, right! But then we could argue about the fact that not every 'Hi' is supposed to be the way I have described in my previous statement. But the million dollar question is how much do we try? The irony is that a lot of times after our habitual 'Hi' is over and the person hi'ed to has walked past us, we can't wait to criticize the guy. Why say the 'hi' in the first place then?

Sure, it would look super non-social if we don't do it and we could may be perceived as rude and arrogant but are we doing anything better to our own self by being the person that we shouldn't be. Would you want to be hi'ed to and then bitched about a few seconds later?

I think I have a serious problem. No, I have a serious ailment. And the ailment is that I don't understand the regular question that we are all asked at least 10 times a day. The three word question is 'how are you?'. WTF! Ask yourself if you actually care about every person to whom you ask this question. Are we really concerned? But then we 'have' to ask it because others ask this of us. I can bet on it with all my money (playing safe because I don't have much of it) that 99.999999999% of the people would respond in a super happy tone with the response 'I am good'. What else do you expect? Do you think people would pour their heart out to you and tell you the disaster that's storming out their life? Do you do it? Do you share your life with strangers or acquaintances?

And what's up with hugging? It has certainly become so mechanical these days that we just know the act and we do it and get it over with. Sounds like something else, right! Don't let your imagination get so vivid, come back friend. But really, we hug every one we meet even if we don't know the person well enough just because s/he is accompanied by a friend or a colleague etc. Isn't a hug supposed to be special? I am not saying one should only hug his/her partner/spouse/lover (or whatever you want to call him/her). I personally think a hug means a lot to me. A hug from a dear friend (btw I hate the word 'dear'), a sibling, a parent or someone close to you could actually make you believe that the world is still a better place, that you are not alone and that you have people in this dark world who love you immensely. And you are willing to give that 'hug' feel in such a monotonous manner just to anyone. Let me put a disclaimer here. I am not against free hugs, in fact I love them! But fake hug. Not for me. Ask yourself if you feel light and happy after hugging so many people throughout the course of a day. If not, why do it at all?

We 'like' so many photos and comments circulating across social networking sites that ask us to be who we are and be 'real'. Shouldn't we at least act real a few days a week, a month, a year?

To hug is to love because when you truly hug, you give a piece of yourself.

366

Health and beauty tips


That dreaded cottage cheese on the back of the thighs is so frustrating for so many women of all sizes. Cellulite is actually just adipose tissue (fat) that ends up looking lumpy because it's pushing against the connective tissue, which makes the skin above it crumple. One of the most effective ways for fighting cellulite is through diet and exercise. Strength-boosting yoga moves that target the thighs can work wonders in the war against the dimples—yoga tightens, tones, and lengthens the muscles making your skin look smoother.

Practice these three moves at least three to four times a week in conjunction with a healthy diet, cardio workouts, and lots of water, and you should start to see an improvement in your hips, thighs, and buttocks. Regardless, you will feel great and have more confidence in your swimsuit this summer.

Eagle Pose
One of my first yoga teachers swore that this pose was the best for fighting cellulite. Maybe because you have to tighten and tone your inner and outer thighs to hold this pose and really squeeze the thigh muscles firmly. You also have to engage your core end entire lower half of your body.

Start by bending your knees then crossing your right thigh high above your left thigh. If you can, double wrap the leg so the foot hooks behind the left calf. If this is too challenging, let the foot stay outside or even tap the toes on the floor. Wrap your left arm under your right arm and then press the palms together. Sit even deeper and squeeze your thighs as you gaze down the tip of your nose. Hold for 5 to 8 breaths, then repeat on the other side. This pose is also great for concentration and focus, which can help you make better health choices.

367

It was a lazy Sunday morning in January. Just as the shy rays of sunlight tried to peek through a dense sheet of fog, my eyes found it difficult to raise a heavy pair of eyelids. I somehow managed to get out of the bed and headed for the classroom. Yes, it was an extra class scheduled on a Sunday Morning in winters. God has his own ways of teaching us a lesson, quite literally, for our lesser known sins perhaps.

Anyway, reaching the classroom was only the battle half-conquered. Staying up in that hour long lecture was the final contest. Even more so, when I had managed to go to bed only in the later part of last night. Nevertheless, professor entered the class and roll calls started. My name echoed inside the room and the moment I responded to it in affirmation, it was all curtains, then and there to my part and purpose of attending that class. Post that, if I paid even a minuscule attention to whatever knowledge would be imparted in that lecture, it was going to be a princely generous favor to the Professor. At least, I believed so. And given the state of mind and body out of which I had come to attend the class, pretty sure, I was in no mood to do him that favor. Hence I decided to keep calm and wait for the time to elapse, quietly, at its own-sweet-pace.

Half an hour passed and it already looked like I was sitting there since ages. The pot of my patience was finishing off real fast. I was slowly falling flat into the blissful arms of a morning slumber and just when I was about to concede defeat to that adamant pair of eyelids, my gaze fell on to 'HER'. She, dressed in black, was looking stunningly gorgeous among that pseudo-intellectual bunch of idiots, who, with pen and paper in their hands, were trying awfully hard to justify their useless existence through the means of education in this world on an otherwise pleasant Sunday Morning. She on the other hand was indifferent to her surroundings. Those uncanny moves of her hands pumped some sort of verve in me and brought me convincingly back to life in that boring lecture, I realized.

For the remaining half an hour I now had something to look forward to in class. The equation was simple. She, making an intriguing move meant another moment comfortably elapsed, which in turn meant that I had lesser time to bear with in that class. Her graceful presence, and the patience with which she was carrying herself in that useless lecture were commendable. Her calm and composed posture could have been an inspiration to many other restless souls inside that room. It's interesting how sometime all you need is a glimpse of an idealistic figure to ignite back an invigorating spark within you. The spark that prevents your decay while you are still alive and guides you ahead towards your goals. Man certainly is a vulnerable slave to his self-induced deceptions, which hold him back, idle and futile in his worldly endeavors. In my case, an endeavor to survive the lecture with my eyes wide-open. Well, literary analogies and exaggeration apart, few more minutes did actually pass smoothly, with more hope and less struggle. I was in the closing stage of the lecture now.

Towards the end of the class, I could sense 'Time' floating playfully in HER divine hands. She was the ray of hope, coming from a distant end of that restless tunnel in which I had to bear up for one long hour with no direct intention to do so at all. She was the one, who had to decide for me, when the light would cross the tunnel and when it would show me the other side of the world that lay across the doors of that classroom. She was the Goddess of Time, the “Wall-Clock” for me, hanging silently, quietly and yet with a powerful authority to bring down the curtain on that dull lecture. I kept looking at HER in flattery, with an innocent urge until the very last moment. And finally, as the class dispersed to move out of the room, I conveyed my humble and soundless regards to that Super Lady on the Wall just to make sure that we stayed in good terms until the next time we met each other, not necessarily at the same place, but certainly in similar roles.

368

Sunday 25th May was the day I was long waiting for. That weekend 2 friends of my friends came to pay a friendly visit from Pune, and that whole week I was just hoping that god won't be so cruel to me that he will select this particular weekend and remind my (girl) friends that a guy lives in Mumbai who has been in peace for a bit long time than he should be. But well as it is said, nature has his way of doing things and it is best for you not to try to understand it.

So it was Saturday (24th May) morning woken up at 9:30am thanks to an hour long song of my doorbell, barely able to open my eyes watching them standing on my doorstep. I smiled at them with my inner conscious asking 'why on earth you had to choose this weekend' but my roommate had different opinion on this. Oh, almost forgot, many of you must be wondering – 'What was so special that weekend? OMG Did he already knew that Mumbai Indians was going to have that spectacular win!!!' but no, it's far more entertaining, competitive and unfeigned (really had to look up in dictionary for this word :p) sporting event than IPL, some of you might have guessed, for those who are still thinking, it was UEFA Champions League Final. Ok, so now I see them sitting on my couch and they with my roommate started discussion on which disc to visit today night. My roommate knowing my plan of watching football at night insisted to go Blue Frog at Lower Parel, which would make it practically impossible for us to return Vashi before 1am. He was quiet assured that I won't say no to our guests if they wished to visit it. But he grossly underestimated my stubbornness and my will power to witness this match. Then the fight started, it was 3 to 1 and I gave all the silly reasons that I could (including increasing crime rate in Mumbai) and tried to make them look serious concerns. And somehow I was able to convince them to go for bowling at Inorbit mall, have dinner and then play 3 patti until one has to sell oneself (sorry for exaggeration :p but could not resist adding it).

The day passed and Saturday night came, I knew I had a task in hand. A difficult task, but failing was not an option. We went to dinner and I made sure that we were back from before 10pm which would give us plenty of time to play cards and stress us out diluting our sharpness between the ears that will ultimately lead to start of an activity that would require least use of brain. Things were going according to my plan, and guess what I had exactly what was required – The Twilight saga. Awesome, the movie started and I slowly slipped away from the room.

Wearing my white jersey, I was sitting in hall, 1 foot away from TV in a position that cannot be explained, cursing Bale, then Ronaldo and so on when suddenly a voice came from behind. “Tu white wali team ke saath hai”, bloody hell its Real Madrid not “white wali team”, 'ok' came as acknowledgment. Then it was next question, “Woh red wali kaunsi team hai?? England ki team hai kya?? Par unki to sirf red colour ki t- shirt hai, red white koi combination hota hai kya” That moment I thanked god that FC Barcelona didn't make it to final. Then started coming comments “Kaise baal hai iske”, “aise thodi hairband lagate hai woh bhi rubber ka lag raha hai”, “ye pura ganja kyn nahi ho jata, yun aadhe baal rakhe hai aadhe uda diye”. With 90 minutes over, it was extra time, and explaining them concept of extra time was easier than I thought (thanks to introducer of super overs in T20), but now I wonder what would have happened if there was a sudden death situation. The match was coming to its final moments and with such a dramatic end of match, emotions were at their zenith on both the sides of TV and then when I was thinking that the worst is over, came a masterstroke – “WOW!! uski body to Hrithik Roshan jaisi hai!!! Ye picture mein try kyun nahi karta.”


That was it for me, the glass was full and luckily the match was over. Even though my team won the champions league, I was feeling like what the Raptor in Jurassic Park 1 must have felt, just 1 weak point was needed to come out of the cage and charge!!


369

I was reliving my childhood two nights ago, watching Tom and Jerry. Among many episodes, I rediscovered one of my forgotten favorites, "Mouse In Manhattan". During childhood, it was innocent happiness to watch how dear Jerry managed to end up at the wrong place at the wrong time in his bid to escape the country life. Skip to present and watch it again, and it seems the tall cities and sheer pace of life so depicted connived with the background setting and apparent coincidence to make me laugh at the poor country mouse' travails in the big city. However, I just smiled at the end.

You see, I got the real joke this time, and that joke was on me. More so, because I had been able to observe myself and my life as a static and detached observer, a bird's eye view of myself you might call it, and thus, the episode provided only the much needed impetus to reflect on my experiences more profoundly. This opportunity to review my life knocked at my doors in the form of an unplanned but immediate trip to Nepanagar, a journey of eight hundred kilometers, a side, from Delhi and via Itarsi by train.

Nepanagar is a very small town, which is literally the geographical center of the country, in Madhya Pradesh. With a population of about ten thousand, it is centered about a paper-mill, which was set up in 1948. Anyway, history-onics apart (please bear with my sense of humor), the atmosphere in the town hung about lazily and the roads were silent, marked with a conspicuous absence of metro-like noise. There was a perceptible change in air quality and I could easily feel the cleanliness of the air as it gushed into my lungs (I didn't even know one could perceive such differences in plains). And so, three uneventful days went past in the blink of an eye, and I had fallen in love with some aspects of the city which I simply couldn't put my finger on.

As I boarded the train back, my heart was left behind in some street, but my thoughts had come back to the impending report submission in my college, and my placement, and my emails and blah blah. My thoughts were interrupted when our local connector train was halted at some station. I jumped down the train and onto the tracks just to get some “lung-full” of fresh air. I overheard that some Rajdhani was about to pass us, and it did zoom past us barely a meter away from me, probably as fast as the lives of its passengers, creating a raucous that only a metro could match. And it suddenly hit me like my ex's shoe in my face (just an expression); I had fallen in love with the slow moving life of the people. They seemed visibly happier than me all the time and it was due to the fact that they simply had time, a slow life, living without stress and deadlines. For three days, I had thoroughly enjoyed wild greenery. It wasn't the lush greenery of the mountains but random weeds and trees that sprout up randomly, that you would chop-off in Delhi due to an apparent lack of aestheticism. I felt the austere guest-house was brilliant because I didn't see a need for an artificial view against the raw wilderness. I realized my after-dinner strolls were the isolated and peaceful time periods with self that remained unsatisfactory till then.

The next morning, I was still enjoying my unusual destination of vacation in my lucid dream when my mother shook me up as we had arrived at Delhi. As we stepped out of the station, out of the bustling crowd that was struggling its way to reach wheresoever in time, I tried to absorb it all in for I had returned to my life. It is here that in hindsight I can relate to dear Jerry as he went into the city for the first time. However, I have lived this way since forever and it is exactly why it is even more amazing that how a three day departure from my daily routine, since I cannot claim I have a life, could turn it into a total stranger to me. Nevertheless, I am back to being just another mouse in Manhattan, blinded by its city-lights, deafened by its baritone and poisoned by its breath. I am not demonizing my metro but I just don't see the point of it all.

370

“http://www.thehindu.com/todays-paper/tp-features/tp-sundaymagazine/showstopper/article5229833.ece“

As I sat on the cane chair next to the kitchen on a bright Sunday morning, this is one of the articles I read that completed my weekend. That is what my weekend ritual consisted of back then. I eagerly waited for a Sunday and the Sunday newspaper. The shear joy of getting up to a free day, enjoying the Sunday magazine section which always has more than just political news and eating a happy slow breakfast. The magazine section is full of musings of writers who romance their writings, there are the versions of simple organic thinking about books,life,food, places and all under the sun that makes one feel joyful and positive.

Coming back to the article, quite to my own surprise this is what the writing and the rustic picture put up by the author brought out in me.

These are the places that make a lump go down your throat. The earthiness, the crudeness of the place seems would roll away all the artificial stresses of life. The sheer simplicity and grandeur of the architecture and what it holds inspires you. It is the way you feel when you walk among the dew covered lushes on early mornings. The greatness and magic that nature sets in those hours gives you a spirit of a better life and a greater objective. The joy can be equated to being with the quintessential person who shares the same thoughts as you. Such a person who facilitates and joins your thinking and makes you feel closer to the life you should be living by just letting you be. Perhaps, these architectures reflect the same greatness and truth. May be they were made by the people who lived that way; closer to their heart and yet more closer to their minds.Working everyday to bring out the best of their understanding, trying to live the greatness each one of us is capable of. It is like the thirst of living more by the means of knowledge. Every moment then becomes magical and purposeful. The greatness of such architectures make you feel strong yet vulnerable.

They grant you power, at the same time leave you open for attack. For, it is not the unwise who feel miserable at the reality of life. It is the wise, who ponder and feel miserable.


371

The life is unusual and full of surprises. Whatever is familiar or known today would be a far off memory tomorrow. Well that's what we call the circle of life.

I am here standing near one of the most vibrant and yet calm lake of Bhopal,where the sun is setting at the horizon of land and water unlike on this side of the screen where I can see the interface of two different yet known horizon, a horizon of real life Childhood-Youngster-Geriatric.

There seems no difference in two pictures of nature but in the latter one there exists the joint of symmetry; Here childhood and adulthood dissipates the luminescence of innocence,carefreeness and happiness though differently.

But when it comes to median, a big pause exists. It's not any peculiar thing that they are happy too but their happiness reflects a materialistic philanthropy.

I don't blame them because up to some extent I am in the same hay but the roads chosen by us may sway.

My Dear friends,this time might not come back but choosing the right path is not only the gain just because the world we live in now, if everything is not balanced than all goes in vain.





372

It was only the second interview that I was giving and I was pretty much sure that both of us are gonna make. Atleast I was sure that you are gonna make no matter what happens because you had cracked the only other interview that both of has given . You already had a exciting job prospect and I was having a boring job prospect but both of us were still happy.

You were always the smart confident and beautiful one and I was hardworking and the chubby one. I still didn't know how we were together.The college was an ok one also with a rank of 50 but all we knew that both of us wanted to be together . I specially shaved for that day and wore that stupid excuse of that shirt . I sat in the GD with my head held high and made both the starting and ending points with a few pushups in between as you said. I tried to made my interview as exciting as possible and even though I had less marks I was trying to prove that I was the one.After the process got over I saw you and realized how happy were you and how happy that smile made me.

After a few days the result came and you were wait listed. I wasn't even wait listed but just to keep your momentum up i lied too. In the second list you got selected and i was stranded out there . You were way too happy and told me I am gonna get a better institute. I just smiled and was happy just to see you smiling . I got my joining city and it was the same city and we both were happy .

We both came to the city of dreams and both of us were happy. However after the college started your calls started dwindling and we rarely used to meet. Then one day I saw you with someone else just as happy as you were used to be with me. I didn't said anything to you. After a few days the only word you said to me its not working and I am not ambitious . I just smiled and just saw you walk away .

Today I thank you because you made me more than ambitious , you made me a better drinker and smoker , you made me a bit more hard working and most of all you made me realize my potential. And today as I am leaving the city of dreams to pursue the course on the other end in one of the best colleges of the country in a course of my choice I just wanted to say thank you . And yeah I came back to that college and got selected

373

'You are making the biggest mistake of your life. You are going to destroy your career'. These were the words my manager told me when I told him I want to quit my job and prepare for CAT. I hated my job and CAT seemed the only way out. Anyways I quit my job. I prepared for 6 months, got locked inside my room for hours. After endless mocks and study session came the day I was looking forward to.

I was greeted by a blank screen for an hour. Pictures flashed before me, how I quit my job, life if I fail to crack CAT, life if I make it to an IIM. I remember shivering as I pressed the button to start the screen. Looked at the screen for a minute or so.. yes it has begun , I told myself. I remember trying to stop myself from panicking.. trying to keep my sweaty hand dry.. I remember how scared I was after section 1 got over.. I have lost it , I thought, better skip the next part.. I took few deep breaths.. forced myself to go through the puzzle.

Next , I was able to solve all the puzzles in 15 mins.. wow ! I started enjoying CAT.. Finished it on a high note.. I have done better than all my mocks but will it be good enough? What followed were the most torturous 3 months of my life. I anxiety for results, the fear of failure, inability to focus on other exams..

Finally, it was 14th of Jan. I promised myself not to check my results unless I get a Call from an IIM, I cheated myself.. finally entered my details and looked at the results.. I can never explain what I felt when I saw the number of 9s in my percentile.. will it be any good ? Then followed interview calls from several IIMs.. Interviews were about to start in 4 weeks.. I went through anything and everything for interviews..

I enjoyed all the interviews but most memorable was interview of IIM A.. I kept pinching myself just to make sure that its happening.. My dream institute.. So near yet so far.. The interview and the conversation I had with profs will always be cherished ..

Then came April which began with disappointment, I was WL for IIM B.. while every other guy I knew who appeared for the interview got through.. After few more days came result of IIM A.. I jumped from my bed at 9am.. googled IIM A half asleep.. entered my details.. I couldn't believe what I saw.. I got through IIM A.. I had imagined this moment hundreds of times in past. But this moment wasn't like any of them.. I was blank.. I couldn't feel anything..

Took my days for the feeling to sink in. Yes I am a WIMWIan now.. but I am still emotionless about it.. A little scared to be honest.

But now I feel something whenever I think about my admit. Admiration for every aspirant who appears for CAT , for everyone who has a purpose in his life..

Now I realise, admit from IIM Ahmedabad has made me humble . The journey from a someone who quit his job to someone who is successful(thats what people call me) has made me realise that just getting an admit doesn't make me special, It's about how many lives I will change later on that will define me..

And miles to go before I sleep.. and miles to go before I sleep..


374

I am trying my hands in writing lately. Your views and inputs are highly required.

Please feel free to comment on: 

375


http://www.storypick.com/14-worst-problems-left-handed-people-face-india/

376

guyzz which is good mba college?guyzzz pls hlp me out!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • symbiosis
  • bhartiya vidyapeeth
  • ims gaziabad
  • bimtech
  • narsee monjee

0 voters