I
am eligible. But are the interviewers eligible?
This post is somewhat lengthy and not exactly related to current interview process, but I request you to please read it till
the end.
Days
were of when IBPS was yet to come up with the idea of common interview. The
respective banks were taking the interviews and Syndicate Bank was the second
bank I applied for. The previous clerical interview I'd given was of Canara
Bank at their Karnal Office. Syndicate Bank asked us to be present at 09:30 am
with our documents at their Regional Office, 48 Neelam Bata Road, Faridabad.
Faridabad
was far away from my home. Plus congested Delhi come in between. Starting my
journey two hour earlier, I managed to reach the Regional Office almost on
time; just 5 minutes late. I reached the venue at 09:35 am. So, I asked the
peon, where the interviews were going on. He showed me the way.
Inside,
a verification officer was there, verifying all the documents of the candidates
that were called. Interviews are going on in another room. Seeing me, he began
the conversation like this
'Kahan
ghuse ja rahe ho?'
'Sir,
I have my interview here.'
'You
are late.'
'Yes,
Sir. Traffic ki wajah se thoda late ho gaya.'
'But
baaki sab to time par aaye hai. Wo kyun nahi late huve?'
'Sorry,
Sir.'
'Don't
you know the value of our time?'
'I'm
extremely sorry, Sir.'
'Tumhara
interview cancel kar de?'
'No,
Sir. Sorry, Sir. Aage se late nahin hounga.'
'Okie.
Wait then. I will now verify your documents after these candidates.'
And
so, I waited. There were 40 candidates in our panel and my name was on the
sixth number. I asked the person sitting next to me about what was going on and
what I missed.
'Tumhara
documents verify ho gaya?'
'Nahi.
Abhi sirf 3 baccho ka hua hai.'
'Hmm.
Yani me itna bhi late nahin hua.'
And
I was feeling happy that I managed to be present here before my document
verification. I began reminiscing of my interview experience at Canara Bank;
how it rained heavily that day, how they gave us a Samosa and Chai treat, and
how cheerful all the experience was. Now here, after two more candidates, I
stood up and went for verification. But.
'Nahin,
tumhara number baad mein ayega.'
'But,
Sir.'
'Abhi
baitho aap,' he said finally and shouted another candidate's name, 'Pradeep, Verification
ke liye aaiye.'
And
I felt crying, but didn't cried. Pradeep's turn was next, but this Pradeep was
also present at Canara Bank's interview. I pretty much remember his name wasn't
Pardeep. His name was something else. And when he came back, I asked him who he
is.
'Bhai
kisi ko btaio mat. Me apne friend ki jagah interview dene aya hoon.'
'Thik
hai bhai.'
I
was sad at that time. This verification officer is so dumb he didn't even know
the person he verified was not Pradeep. And sala mujh par rules and regulations
ki baate thop raha hai. I was late just for 5 minutes. It took complete 2 and
half hour for the whole verification and side by side interviews were also
going on. And he kept me waiting for all this time. Gussa bhi aa raha tha ab,
but it was the question of my career. So I kept quiet. I still kept sitting
after he was done verification of all the candidates. And then he came to me
and,
'Kyun
bhai, ab verification nahin karwani kya? Bina verification ke interview doge?
'Sorry,
Sir.' I stood up and followed him.
'Aap
ek reputed bank join karne ja rahe ho. Aage se dhyan rahe, late nahin hona
kabhi,' and he started giving me his lecture again. I didn't tell him how good
he really is at verification.
After
my verification, I still was waiting. Ab tak mera interview kab ka over ho chukka
hota, agar ye badla na nikaalta to. But now I have to wait for other candidates
to give their interviews first. My turn finally came in the end. Already a bad
impression, plus spoilt mood, plus so many things, I entered the interview
room.
'May
I come in, Sir?' there were three male members and one female member
interviewing.
'Yes,
please.' I entered the room and greeted them, trying to be cheerful.
'Hmm.
Aap hi ho jo late ho gye aaj,' and they said this as soon as I sat down in
chair.
'Sorry,
Sir. Main 2 ghante pehle chala tha, but fir bhi late ho gaya. Traffic jyada tha
and Location bhi nahin maloom thi. So.'
'Accha
ek baat bataiye. Maan lo aapke dost ne apko bulaya hai, and aap late ho gaye
pahunchne me. To bataiye aapke friend ko
kaisa lagega?'
I
was wondering why they're asking me this question. Well, friends ka wait to
mene 2-2-ghante kiya hai, and that's what friends are for. They wait. 5 minute
me to koi mar nahi jata. But still, I said, what they wanted to hear.
'Friend
ko accha nahin lagega, Sir.'
'Aur
hame bhi accha nahin laga.'
They
were saying as if mene unka dil hi tod diya. Okie, I kept them waited for 5
minutes (and they were really not waiting for me). And wo bhi jaan boojh kar
nahin. But in return, they kept me waiting for continuous 3 and half hour.
KNOWINGLY!! Is this the moral way of treatment?
'Sorry
again, Sir. Phir nahin hounga late.'
'Okie.
Apne bare me bataiye.'
Maine
bata diya.
'Ohh,
to reading aapki hobby hai,' the lady member asked. 'Recently konsa novel read
kiya hai?'
'A
Thousand Splendid Suns, Mam.'
'Indian
novels nahin padhte aap? Chetan Bhagat ka naam suna hai?'
'I
do read, Mam. Yes. Maine chetan bhagat ke bhi novels padhe hai.'
'Five
point someone padha hai?'
'Yes,
Mam.'
'Uski
thodi story bataiye.'
'Mam,
the story was about three friends. One talented, one protagonist who falls in
love with the principal's daughter, and their friend who was very very weak in
studies. The talented one makes plans and experiments and all the fun. The story
begins when they were in hospital and the protagonist takes a vow that he will
write about their story..'
'Okie,
okie. So, aapne 12th ke baad kya kiya. Aapki 12th 2007 me
ho gayi thi, but its 2012 ending now. 5 saal tak kya kiya aapne?'
'Sir,
I was doing my engineering. But family problems ki wajah se mind divert ho gaya
and last semester ke exams me re aa gayi. So, mene ye form sirf 12th
class ke base par fill kiya. I'm eligible for interviews.'
'Engineering
ho gayi hogi may 2011 mein. Its October 2012 now. Is gap me aapne kya kiya?'
And
I thought meri maarne ka plan hai inka. Already answer kar chukka hoon. Fir bhi
ye sawal!
'Sir,
as I said, family problems aa gayi thi. Engineering ke baad I fled from home to
work as a labourer in a company in Rajasthan. But fir brother ne wapis bulaya
and made me study for banking exams. And now I'm here giving my interview.'
'172
marks. Not good, but still satisfactory marks. Okie. Aapne engineering to ki hi
h. Resistance and current, in sab ke bare me to pata hoga?'
'Yes,
Mam. I know.'
'Ye
bataiye. Voltmeter ki internal resistance zero honi chahiye ya infinite?
And
I closed my eyes for few seconds, drawing the diagram in my mind. Voltmeter
measures the voltage across a resistance. So current through the voltmeter must
not pass. And that means voltmeter's internal resistance must be somewhat very
high or infinite.
'Infinite,
Mam.'
'Think
again.'
'Infinite,
Mam. I said only after much thinking.'
'Good.'
She said. And then another Sir asked, 'Exam kahan diya tha?'
IBPS
exam karnal mein hua tha in the month of November 2011. But now it was October
2012; almost a year has passed. Mujhe thik se yaad nahin aya kahan diya tha,
coz ibps ke baad I tried for ssc chsl in ambala, ssc cgl (just for experience)
in chandigarh, post office in Delhi. So, I couldn't recall, mene IBPS kahan
diya tha.
'Sorry,
Sir. I couldn't recall. Kaafi exams de chukka hoon 1 saal me alag alag centres
par.'
'Exam
tumne hi diya tha ya kisi se dilwaya tha?'
Now
what the **** they are inferring?
'Sir,
khud diya tha.'
'Okie,
aap ja sakte hai,' he said smiling, not a genuine smile, 'your interview is
over.'
'Thank
you sir.' And I came out of the room.
I
knew at that instant I wasn't going to qualify even this. Bahar mujhe Pradeep
mila and he said his interview went well, and wo bevkoof interviewers usko
pakad nhi pae. I was wondering isko wo real samajh bethe, and mujhe fake! And then
this question began forming in my mind.
I
am eligible. But are the interviewers eligible?